Living Intentionally

Most of us want to live a well thought out life. We want to be deliberate about our choices and how we respond to life. Unfortunately, life gets so busy and overwhelming sometimes that we end up living far from intentionally.

No matter how busy we get, we can choose to incorporate certain activities that help us live more intentionally than not. Let me say it another way. If your life seems reactionary and out of control rather than intentional, there are some habits that can help flip that.

Intentional Habits

While the specific actions may look different from on person to the next, living intentionally does have some foundational aspects that every Christian can incorporate.

  1. Rest. Take time to be still at least every morning and evening.
  2. Listen. Pay attention to the people in your life, the face-to-face not electronic life.
  3. Experience God’s presence. Get outside and go for a walk or just sit and listen to nature. Let Him fill your thoughts.
  4. Partner with Jesus. Our effort alone won’t get us there; don’t be too proud to ask for help.

If you’re busy and overwhelmed right now, your first response/reaction is probably something like, “How? I just don’t have the time.” For now, let me offer the following Scripture by way of encouragement for making the time, for making these activities non-negotiable.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“The Lord replied, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’” (Exodus 33:14)

“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” (Mark 6:31)

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7a)

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.’” (Isaiah 30:15)

“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth.’” (Psalm 46:10)

Busyness and overload continually draws us into reactionary mode. Learning to respond instead of react is important, but we can only do that if we deliberately decide to incorporate these habits no matter how busy we are. It’s sort of like telling the chaos it’s not in control of your life even if you feel like it is.

Ready to move back into intentionality?

Start with these Biblical principles. Be stubborn about consistently incorporating them, and you’ll find God’s peace, power and presence dominating your life more than busyness and overload.

Want more? The following posts can help you develop a more intentional life.

 

Healthy Relationships During the Holidays and Beyond

Relationships 1Holiday Relationships

Relationships lie at the heart of holiday activity. For Christians, that first and foremost means an individual’s relationship with Christ. But we cannot escape that Scripture also advocates for a right relationship with other Christians. We are to encourage and build up the body of Christ. We are also to set an example of love for unbelievers to see.

The holidays seem to amplify the state of relationships; unfortunately, that includes making bad ones worse and often causing good ones to struggle. So much strain comes from already struggling finances, unmet expectations and inevitable disappointments.

As with physical and spiritual health, relationships can survive and even thrive during the holidays if deliberately considered rather than reacted to and given band-aid fixes.

Healthy Relationships

Consider the following advice as you work toward healthy relationships through the holidays and beyond.

  1. Be committed to caring. A focus on building bridges and not walls in our relationships, especially during the holidays, leads us to show concern for others and to focus on what blesses them.
  2. Cultivate respect. In the spirit of 1 Corinthians, the onus lies with the more mature spiritually and involves choosing relationships over ego.
  3. Develop & live out family convictions. State convictions and then allowed them to shape traditions.
  4. Be flexible. Flexibility is required to maintain relationships as life changes. Purpose to adapt, and refuse to hold tight to tradition for fear of change.
  5. Don’t let assumptions kill relationships. Make a point to respectfully express feelings, and don’t take for granted that others know how you feel. Say it both verbally and physically (hugs and smiles).
  6. Share responsibilities. Ask what you can do to help but also ask for help too.
  7. Engage people and be fully where you are. Put down the technology and make eye contact. Make sure your loved ones know you don’t prefer your electronics over them.
  8. Don’t allow expectations to kill relationship. Be realistic and have fair expectations of others. Don’t set them up for failure.

Depression and family contention hit their height for many during the holidays. Most likely, these two realities are closely related to the loneliness and disconnect so many feel this time of year.

Fortunately, a deliberate choice by individual Christians can make a huge impact for health and wholeness, healing and mending. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, rely on the Lord to guide you toward healthy relationships during the holidays and beyond.

Relationships 2

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“The beacons are lit!”

One of my favorite scenes in Lord of the Rings comes in Return of the King when the beacon of Minas Tirith is lit to start a chain of lit beacons spanning Middle Earth and asking for any who can to come to the aid of a city on the brink of attack.

Why is this one of my favorite scenes? Because it involves someone humbling themselves enough to admit help is necessary. Also, because it involves others coming to help  even when they hold no obligation to do so. They choose to help because it’s the right thing to do.

Wouldn’t it be helpful for us to light beacons when we’re under attack? But we essentially do the opposite. We do what Lord Denethor did, retreat and “die in what way seems best.” In other words, we hide our struggles which often results in our own demise spiritually, physically and/or mentally.

Let’s be clear that I’m not advocating the airing of dirty laundry or even of many, if any, of the details of a situation. What I am saying is that we simply need to ask for help from someone with the ability to come to our aid. I am saying that sometimes the battle is too much for us to fight alone.

For Christians, this principle is akin to being a part of the body of Christ where “its parts should have equal concern for each other” and where “if one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (1 Corinthians 12).

Another principle at play here comes from Galatians 6:2 which says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” God clearly instructs members of His body to lift each other up when one part goes through a struggle. But so much of the time, a person goes through battles alone, never sharing struggles by asking for help. In other words, fulfilling this “law” becomes impossible when burdens remain unknown.

Being a part of the body of Christ means little when one member chooses to live as if independent from the rest of the body. This is, of course, impossible, since the rest of the body still becomes maimed when a member falls away.

So, what’s the solution? When you struggle, light the beacon. Tell someone you are struggling.

Recently, I struggled with feeling disconnected. I saw younger women hanging out together and connecting, and I felt alone. I saw myself as young, still, but I didn’t really fit in that group anymore. Yet, I also know that Titus encourages the interaction of younger and older as does the life of Timothy.

In the past when I struggled with disconnection, I fought the battle on my own. Sure, I turned to scripture and prayer, and of course God brought me through. Yet, I have come to believe that often God wants to bring us to victory through others. Sometimes, we hide ourselves in the Bible to avoid admitting our struggles and asking for help.

This time, I actually reached out to other women. I shared my struggle with disconnection and fitting in and felt almost immediate relief after doing so. No, the battle didn’t go away immediately, but sharing the struggle and having others bear it with me definitely encouraged me and gave me strength to endure.

What’s more is that I found that my struggle was not unique. Satan wants us to feel alone and as if no one can understand our struggles because he knows we aren’t as much of a threat when we struggle alone.

DISCUSSION: Do you struggle alone in something and need to light the beacon to request help? Are you preventing someone from “fulfilling the law of Christ” by hiding your burden and struggling alone?

Check out the related post Oh, God, I Am Lost and So Alone by T. Neal Tarver at A Curious Band of Others for more on this topic.

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