Do Your Part

When I think of interacting with difficult people, my first instinct is to avoid them. Sometimes, when I feel especially unable to respond well, I actively shut them out even if we’re in the same room. While this may be necessary from time to time (it’s sometimes better to say nothing than to say something hurtful), it’s not a healthy long-term approach. So, what is?

“Do your part to live at peace with everyone, as much as it is possible.” (Romans 12:18)

Between the lines of this verse is the idea that I can only do my part and that living in peace with others is not fully up to me. The next natural question for me, then, is… What exactly is my part?

The four verses just before Romans 12:18 provide some answers.

  1. Bless others even if they’re difficult. (v. 14)
  2. Share with others in good and bad times. (v. 15)
  3. Don’t let pride get in the way. (v. 16)
  4. Always do what is right. (v. 17)

The three verses after Romans 12:18 give even more direction.

  1. Let God right any wrongs. (v. 19)
  2. Meet others needs, even the needs of difficult people. (v. 20)
  3. Doing good is a weapon. (v. 21)

God’s word is clear about how we should treat those who are difficult to treat well. These instructions help me want to please God with the way I treat difficult people.

After all, I cannot control others. My job is to do “my part.” I’ve made the decision once again to not let others decide what that part is but to instead let it be defined by God.

Setting the Example

Examples other people set these days discourage me. In all transparency, the example I set myself often discourages me too. Standards of character and quality seem so low sometimes, and so many people, myself included, seem to often settle for so much less than their best.

Just when I wonder if any solid examples exist, I recall the many people in the Bible who encourage me. In Philippians 2, for instance, Paul both tells us how to live and gives us examples of others to follow.

  • Timothy – Genuine friendship
  • Epaphroditus – Faithfulness and courage
  • Christ – Unity & humility

Paul’s letter encourages me to not only follow the examples set by Timothy, Epaphroditus, and especially Christ, but to also:

  1. Be humble.
  2. Be interested in others.
  3. Stop complaining about others.
  4. Have the attitude of Christ.
  5. Hold tightly to God’s word.
  6. Purpose to be a Godly example.

The Bible is filled with examples of those we can follow as we pursue holiness. Only one, Christ, gives a perfect example, but many others provide examples worthy of following.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Refocus

Disconnected?

Ever long to connect with God through his word but feel disconnected when you read the words on the page? I do.

Even after years of teaching Bible studies and doing daily devotions, I sometimes feel disconnected from God. Sometimes, my mind simply fails to connect with what the Spirit of God is trying to say to me through the words of Scripture.

Deferred Pain

When this happens, it’s usually an indication of something else going on in my life. Deferred pain, if you will.

That “something,” in my experience, is usually a combination of small somethings that added up slowly over time and created a big disconnect. So, my first step usually involves awareness of those smaller things and, essentially, addressing the sources causing this deferred pain.

Developing Awareness

That awareness comes though quietness and prayer. Through these practices, the Holy Spirit’s voice rises to the top of all the other voices vying for my attention.

He usually begins with reminders and directives:

  • Nothing is beyond the reach of my power.
  • Quit trying to force things to happen.
  • Wait for me to work.
  • Acknowledge me.
  • I will direct you.
  • Focus your thoughts.
  • Quit letting your fears direct your focus.

Slowly, through meditation on His Word and just existing in quietness, I am redirected to looking at Jesus instead of trying to find answers and solutions.

Focus determines reality. A truth that I need continually reminded of in my life.

Green & Growing or Ripe & Rotting

Never Done

Housework. Healthy living. Good relationships. Learning. Parenting. Ministry. Faith.

None of these are ever really completed. Any completion is really only a step toward what’s next. In fact, if we get to the point where we are finished, we begin to die in that area.

Never being done frustrates me sometimes. Knowing my feelings of satisfaction over completing something are only temporary sometimes discourages me. There’s always more to be done. Always more to know. Always a “next” to move on to.

With one exception.

Tetelestai

“It is finished!” (John 19:30)

Jesus’s last word’s on the cross.

Tetelestai = It is finished. Bring to a close, complete, fulfill. It’s an accounting term that means something is “paid in full.”

The debt of sin owed God was gone. All of the Old Testament prophecies about Jesus were fulfilled. Done. Complete. No more “next.”

Peace in Completion

Jesus’s finished work has tremendous implications for us.

  1. We have a message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
  2. Sin and Satan have no power. (Ephesians 6:16)
  3. We can live as new creations in Christ. (Ephesians 2:1,5)

Instead of being frustrated by the constant “more” and “not done” of life, I can find peace in what Jesus completed. I can choose to focus on what’s done and let it motivate what’s “next.”

Metanoia

In psychology, metanoia involves experiencing a psychotic breakdown and then subsequent, positive rebuilding and healing. My journey through depression was a metanoia. In fact, this blog – Struggle to Victory – aptly describes that journey.

Do you have a metanoia that’s now a part of your testimony? If you’re a Christian, the answer is “Yes!”

The Bible talks a lot about metanoia.

Matthew 3:8 – “Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.”

Matthew 3:11 – I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

Mark 1:4 – John appeared, baptizing in the wilderness and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.”

Luke 5:32 – I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

2 Corinthians 7:9 – “As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.”

Repentance is metanoia. It is a transformative change of heart that leads to life transformation.

Mighty Waves

The Bible often uses nature to illustrate God’s power and glory. By no means do we fully grasp the extent of that power, but certain verses do help us have some sense of the vastness and strength of His power.

“In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.” (Psalm 95:4-5)

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2)

For me, waves speaks profoundly about the vastness and awesomeness of God’s power.

“You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them.” (Psalm 89:9)

“Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?” (Job 38:8-11)

So, when I read that “Ocean Waves are Officially Getting Stronger,” and how this is associated with the strength of the wind and rising water temperatures, I actually find comfort even though this means the waves are also becoming more destructive.

The comfort comes because I am reminded of just how powerful God is. It brings me back to a place of awe and wonder over his might. And I once again find myself at a loss for words to describe Him.

“One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side of the lake.’ So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!’ And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, ‘Where is your faith?’ And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, ‘Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?’ (Luke 8:22-25)

Wisdom Like Honey

“Eat honey, my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste. Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” (Proverbs 24:13-14)

Both wisdom and honey come from what seems ordinary. Bees gather nectar from flowers, digest it, then produced honey. We accumulate life experiences, digest them, and hopefully develop wisdom as a result.

 “Both are gathered slowly, carefully, knowingly, arduously, and sometimes painfully.” (Phillips Commentary)

Both honey and wisdom are beneficial and sweet. They also both have medicinal value as well.

Knowing all this, consider the following verses and use them to assess the value you place on wisdom.

“The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.” (Psalm 19:7-11)

The following questions can help guide your meditation of these verses.

  1. What are the different ways the Psalm describes God’s word?
  2. What are the benefits of God’s word to us?
  3. How can the Bible’s connection of honey and wisdom shape your understanding of God’s word?

The Fellowship of the Church

What is Fellowship?

All too often, it seems like “fellowship” means the same in practice as “visiting.” “Fellowship” is simply used as justification to visit without making commitment to the relationship.

But are they really the same? Or, is “fellowship” something more than merely “visiting”?

One of the best ways I can think of to understand fellowship comes from my favorite movie and book series, Lord of the Rings. More specifically, the first in the series: The Fellowship of the Ring.

Beyond Visiting

This first book/movie in the series involves individuals bound to one another because they were working toward the same goal. Because of that journey, though, they developed deep bonds of friendship.

This exemplifies what fellowship is really meant to be. Beyond visiting, fellowship is a process of developing deep and lasting relationships.

A Threefold Cord

The Bible offers a description that while not using the word “fellowship” certainly describes this idea of deeply-developed companionship and the role it can play in a person’s life.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Fellowship gets at eradicating loneliness. It solidifies encouragement. And, it provides stability and strength for persevering when life become difficult.

Going Beyond Visiting

This better understanding of fellowship motivates me to move beyond only visiting with my fellow Christians, especially the ones with which I interact regularly. Fellowship leads me to efforts toward developing depth and moving well beyond, “Hi. How are you?”

I’m looking forward to developing depth in relationships and moving beyond just visiting. I’m looking forward to more fellowship. Won’t you join me?

Decision Making

Many of us are overwhelmed by all the decisions we have to make day after day. Because that is often the case for me, I’ve written a lot about decision fatigue:

Let’s now take a different perspective on decision making by looking at “Why It’s Easier To Make Decisions For Someone Else.” Consider these results from a study completed by two Chinese researchers.

A couple of points of application come to mind for me when considering the results of this study.

  1. We’re harder on ourselves than on other people.
  2. We struggle looking at our own options in a positive way.
  3. We remember our failures too quickly.
  4. Perhaps we need to pull back on the risks we’re willing to let others take.
  5. We could consider being more adventurous in decisions for ourselves.

Though I never thought about it before, the study is ultimately right. Making decisions for other people is somehow easier than it is for myself. Maybe that’s the way it should be though. After all…

  • We don’t actually make decisions for others. We just encourage them in a certain direction.
  • We live more intimately with our own decisions than with the decisions others make.

I’m not sure where to go with these realizations, but I don’t want to ignore the chord they struck in me either. Your thoughts?

When Trust Is Broken

You will let others down. Others will disappoint you too. Though it happens in varying degrees, broken trust is inevitable because we are human.

When it happens, three actions on your part – regardless of the depth of broken trust or your role in it – serves toward the goal of restoration.

1. Trust God – He won’t let you down. Only he is completely trustworthy.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.”

(Psalm 118:8)

2. Forgive – Trust cannot be rebuilt without forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision; the feelings come later. There’s also no set number of times to forgive.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (Matthew 18:21-22)

3. Be trustworthy – You cannot control others. You can only control yourself, and even self-control is often difficult. No matter what, choose to be trustworthy.

“Better the poor whose walk is blameless than the rich whose ways are perverse.” (Proverbs 28:6)

Broken trust is painful. Forgiveness does not always make sense. It usually does not make the pain go away right away either. Yet, the Bible tells us forgiveness is the path to take, and God promises to direct us through it all.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)