Where Should You Place Your Trust?

TrustAnalyzing Trust

Where do you place your trust? Friends? Family? Spouse? Parents? Teachers? Doctors? Pastors? Authors? Children? Finances? Abilities? Talents? News? Television?

To some degree, every object of trust breaks trust at some point. We all know the sting of broken trust. If we’re completely honest, we all must admit to being the source of that sting at times too.

Where you place your trust and the level of trust you extend to another depends greatly on your view of their overall trustworthiness, dependability and reliability. How much you trust also depends upon your overall ability to trust in general. In other words, trust exists specific to the trustworthiness of the person or thing being trusted, but it also exists based on your overall life experience with trust as well as on your individual expectations for trust.

For example, I trust my husband more than any other person because our shared experiences over the past 29 years prove his overall trustworthiness. Doesn’t mean he’s never let me down, but it does mean his life speaks to a solid character deserving of trust.

On the other hand, broken trust with other people surprised me enough times over the years to the point of lowering my expectation for trustworthiness in general. People I thought I knew were not who I thought they were. Apparent character turned out not to be false. And, spoken values ended up as dust in the whirlwind of busyness and overload.

So, while my overall trust of my husband still stands strong and gives hope that trustworthiness still exists in people, my overall trust of people in general exists weaker today than it did five years ago.

Choosing Obedience Over Feelings

Today, I stand questioning the trustworthiness of people in general. Befuddled by what seems to be an epidemic gap between the private self and the public self in way too many individuals, I expect the appearance of character to no longer match reality and am pleasantly surprised when it does.

My reaction to these feelings involves wanting to live an introverted life, a natural bent for me anyway. But even more than what seems natural, I find myself drawn away from connecting and gravitating toward keeping people at a safe distance emotionally.

Yet, a pull deep within me keeps me from completely withdrawing. It keeps the desire for connection alive even at the risk of hurt caused by broken trust. That inclination involves the Holy Spirit’s work within me creating a desire to please God and do His will regardless of my feelings.

Scripture says to love others. It says to to connect and encourage and admonish and give advice and get advice. So, withdrawing goes against God’s desires. I admit to often being at odds with Scripture’s directives regarding connection. My desire to lessen the sting of broken trust rides high in my awareness, and I often given in to it.

The sting of broken trust leads me to pull against what Scripture says about loving others.

Since what I’m feeling does not match with what I know of God’s Word, I must analyze the disconnect and better align my thoughts and feelings with God’s Word.

With that realization, let’s consider what God says about trust.

What God Says About Trust

Scripture clearly tells us where NOT TO place your trust:

  • Weapons (Psalm 44:6) — This gets at the idea of our ability to defend ourselves.
  • Wealth (Psalm 49:6, 7) — A means for sharing blessing not an object of trust.
  • Leaders (Psalm 146:3) — Leaders often make mistakes and fail to meet our expectations.
  • Man (Jeremiah 17:5) — Placing people as the source of trust brings curse, not blessing.
  • Works (Jeremiah 48:7) — Trusting in skills and abilities leads to captivity; works are never enough.
  • Righteousness (Ezekiel 33:13) — We simply don’t possess the ability to obtain righteousness, to do enough to be completely trustworthy, on our own.

Scripture helped me understand the hurt caused by broken trust came because I expected complete trustworthiness from people and things unable to deliver it.

Scripture also clearly tells us where TO place your trust:

  • God’s Name (Psalm 33:21) — His name reflects His attributes and His character. God always holds true to His character.
  • God’s Word (Psalm 119:42) — Scripture provides the answers needed for every struggle of life.
  • Christ (Matthew 12:17-21) — The hope of all the world rests securely on the perfectly trustworthy shoulders of Jesus.

We are to trust in His Word, in who He says He is and with hope in the death-conquering power of Christ. My trust should belong nowhere else. And as is the abundant nature of God, He also gives benefits of trusting Him.

Place Your Trust in God

Trust blessings

When reading this list of benefits of trusting in God alone, I wonder try to trust or have confidence in anyone or anything else.

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Other posts on trust:

Confidence and Trust in Relationships

ConfidenceConsistency & Trust

The more consistent a person’s attitude, actions and words, the higher level of trust and confidence I have in that relationships. When I know someone will dependably show solid character, my stress level goes down and trust goes up.

For example, I trust my steady husband more than any other person. My oldest son and a couple of my friends tie for second. Whatever these people are involved with in my life holds a great deal less stress because of their consistent character.

Of course, the reverse also holds true. The less consistent character, the lower the trust and the higher the stress. Unfortunately, several people in my life fall into various places along the spectrum of decreasing trust and increasing stress because of a lack of consistent dependability.

Of course, all of those relationships involve imperfect people that to some extent are unreliable and inconsistent. With God, though, the picture completely changes because perfection exists in a person that never, ever fails me.

PChrist the sameerfection Changes Everything

Whenever I understand more about who God is as He reveals Himself through His Holy Spirit — that He is my Lord and my God, that He is Holy and that He is my Savior — my confidence in Him automatically increases.

“I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isaiah 43:1-3)

The better I know Him and His ways, the more I trust Him. Bob Sorge in The Fire of Delayed Answers focuses on this idea in Chapter 14. He expresses the truth this way:

“Confidence happens when we come to understand God and His ways. When we really get to know God, confidence is automatic. If we truly come to know Him, we’ll be confident that He will be true to His person.”

Because God is who He is, I can have perfect confidence in Him. Yet, because I am who I am, I don’t.

Scripture like Isaiah 43:1-3 serve to remind me that my imperfection doesn’t limit Him. As Sorge says,

“Confidence says, ‘I know He’s working on my behalf for good.”’

And I can know this because He has done it before in my life and in the lives of countless others, and because Scripture assures me that’s who He is. That’s His character.

Confidence through StruggleFather does not change

Let’s go back to the “fire” and “rivers” in Isaiah 43:1-3 for a minute and apply how understanding and knowing God leads to automatic confidence in Him to work in my — and your — life for good today.

What would you list as your “fire” and “rivers” right now? In other words, what are the main sources of struggle and stress in your life? (Yes, you can name a specific person… I did.)

For each of the “fire” and “rivers” you listed, tell God you trust Him with them. Think of all He’s done for you and of what Scriptures says of His ways and who He is, and let this knowledge strengthen your confidence in Him to bring you through your current struggles. He did it before, and He’ll do it again because that’s who He is.

Other posts on trust:

“Do what you say you’re going to do…

… when you say you’re going to do it.”Moon Hung with Star

Reliability. Consistency. Dependability. All result from fulfilling the above statement.

While I made a lot of mistakes when working in business & education (I really didn’t know what I was doing so much of the time), this one “rule” gave me a reputation that led to many beneficial connections.

Toward the end of my days in this arena, when I began failing to keep this rule, I knew it was time to get out. My mental and physical state interfered with my ability to be dependable, consistent & reliable. And if I couldn’t be those things, I had no business being there any longer.

Under-Promise & Over-Deliver

A phrase I often heard others say while working in business & education was “under-promise and over-deliver.” This meant, make a commitment but promise the minimum you’ll do. Then, if you can, deliver more than you promise. This could mean beating a deadline rather than just meeting it. It could mean making an introduction rather than just providing contact information. And it definitely meant setting lower goals when projecting outcomes.

But I could never fully get on board with this idea. I always felt like under-promising was holding back and selling myself short, maybe not challenging myself enough. It went against the notion of “if you shoot for the moon, you’ll at least land among the stars.”

Of course, I needed to be aware of what I could do before making commitments and to be realistic in what I promised, but I also felt like stepping out in faith by promising excellence above and beyond average was also important.

In all of this, I learned the hard lesson that plans change. Life happens. Circumstances flip. An emergency arises requiring a rearranging of priorities. Maybe resources change or disappear (worked in education, remember). For whatever reason, you can’t do what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it, and you can’t deliver on your promises.

Change of Plans

Paul talks about changing his plans in 2 Corinthians 1:15-24. He also addresses making and keeping commitments in light of deciding to change his plans. Here’s the short of it:

  • He initially wanted to bless the Corinthians by stopping to see them twice, both to and from Macedonia.
  • He changes his mind because the Corinthians apparently failed to follow his 1 Corinthians advice.

Paul said he changed his plans out of consideration for the Corinthians to spare them a rebuke and give them a second chance to follow his advice. But he prefaces this by stressing the importance of not being “like people of the world who say yes when they really mean no” (v 18).

Instead, says Paul, follow Jesus’ example as He “never waivers between yes and no” (v 19). In other words, make commitments – promises – and keep them. Let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no. (Matthew 5:37)

Paul’s example shows that others not keeping commitments or making needed changes sometimes alters our plans. Oh do I hate that reality! The idea that I can’t stick to my original plan because others failed to even have a plan. Yes, it’s part of the reality – the struggle – of being human.

But regardless of what others do or don’t do, my focus still lies with “doing what I say I’m going to do when I say I’m going to do it” if at all possible as well as with promising to always do whatever I’m doing to the best of my ability.

Four lessons immediately emerge from my experience in approaching making & keeping commitments:

  1. The Holy Spirit’s leading is essential in successfully making & keeping commitments.
  2. Others lack of commitment should not stop me from making them.
  3. Making allowances for others shows love.
  4. Lack of planning on the part of other people sometimes does mean an emergency on my part.

DISCUSSION: What other lessons do you see in this?