Transition in Change

Transition vs. Change

Though often used as synonyms, transition and change are not the same.

  • Change is situational.
  • Transition is psychological & requires “inner reorientation.”
  • Change is inevitable; transition is not.
  • We have to go through change.
  • We do not have to transition.

In other words, to quote William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes

“Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”

To further our understanding of the difference between change and transition, let’s look at a couple of examples from Scripture.

Example 1: The Israelites changed, but they didn’t transition. They wandered around the desert for 40 years because they refused to transition. They even expressed a desire to go back to captivity, to the way things were. (See Numbers 13 & 14)

What might this resistance to transition look like today?

  • Trying to control everyone and everything
  • Struggling with depression
  • Struggling with anxiety
  • Exhibiting self-destructive behavior
  • Hurting others
  • Feeling stuck

Example 2: The Apostle Paul changed AND transitioned. He also showed us that doing so is learned; it’s a process.

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11)

Paul went from being a persecutor of Christians to a promoter of the Gospel. Within his writings throughout the New Testament, we discover a man who not only changed because of an encounter with Christ but who also continually transitioned well from that point forward.

The process involves small steps taken over time that add up to make a big difference. In other words, it’s about living a life of making progress toward perfection. Transitioning within change is a required part of that process.

Refining & Pruning

God wants to both change & transition us. He is the author of this process.

“I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.'” (Zechariah 13:9)

“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:7)

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:2)

When something is refined, it becomes a purified precious metal. When something is pruned, it produces a more plentiful crop. For us, this is a painful process but one necessary for growth, which comes only through transition.

A Transitioning Mindset

If you think you’re ready for change, you may be right. The real question is, are you ready to transition? No matter how ready I thought I was (e.g., empty nest), I was always wrong about what it would mean to transition and how ready I thought I was to do so.

What I’ve realized, though, is that if we we’re always ready and perfectly prepared for change, how would we learn trust God? We wouldn’t need the refining and pruning process where we learn contentment regardless of circumstances if we could prepare ourselves for growth on our own. In other words, the painful process of transitioning in change is the process required for growth.

We can, however, establish a transitioning mindset that at least minimizes our resistance to the work of transition God wants us to do in our lives. It leads us to a place of least resistance. We create a transitioning mindset when we take on the perspective of Job.

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

Scripture expresses this same sentiment in other ways, the most well-known being Proverbs 16:9.

“A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Healthy Change involves learning contentment and establishing our stability on Christ and all that he has done for us. This requires that we learn to transition (progress) as we are pruned and refined through all that life brings our way.

Slow But Don’t Stop

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” (Confucius)

Running has never been easy for me. Never been fast. Some good runs here and there, and the occasional “runners high.” Mostly struggle though.

Years ago, I started telling myself, “slow but don’t stop” when running. I walk more than run most of the time now, but I keep running. Keep putting it into my workouts. I refuse to quit.

This connects with the idea of progress over perfection. Progress seems so very slow sometimes, yet I refuse to quit. I keep pressing on.

Telling myself “slow but don’t stop” and “progress over perfection” fit into the idea that small steps add up over time to make a big difference. These are all truths I need to remember, especially when life gets frustrating, and I feel like I’m stuck in a rut.

I also need to remember that progress is happening even if I don’t see it or feel it. If I just refuse to quit, I am going to make progress.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-21)

“Now the LORD is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the LORD’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)

Go ahead! Be stubborn!

Bad Stubborn

Most of the time, stubbornness is seen as bad. It seems self-serving, whether a front for pride or a display of arrogance.

Unwilling to change.
Can’t admit when wrong.
Refuse to see another way.

I’ve been stubborn to the point of hurting others. My stubbornness has also resulted in missed opportunity and delayed growth.

Maybe you can relate.

Good Stubborn

There are times when stubbornness is good. Though it’s still somewhat frustrating to others, it’s easier to understand and appreciate.

Refusal to give up.
Pushing through.
Making it to the end despite pain.

God tells Ezekiel to be stubborn in this way. More accurately, God makes Ezekiel stubborn.

“But see, I have made you hard and stubborn too – as tough as they are. I have made your forehead as hard as a rock. So don’t be afraid of them, or fear their sullen, angry looks, even though they are such rebels.” (Ezekiel 3:8-9, TLB)

In order for Ezekiel to overcome fear and say what God wanted him to say, Ezekiel needed to be stubborn. Before this stubbornness took effect, though, God had one requirement of Ezekiel.

“Then he added: “Son of dust, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first; listen to them carefully for yourself. Then, afterward, go to your people in exile, and whether or not they will listen, tell them: ‘This is what the Lord God says!’” (Ezekiel 3:10-111, TLB)

Godly Stubbornness

We can take some valuable lessons about stubbornness from this account.

  1. Be stubborn in fulfilling the purposes God sets before you.
  2. Fill yourself with God’s words to help keep you stubborn.
  3. Obey God’s words in your stubbornness.

Then, without fear, stubbornly pursue God’s will.

A Graduation Testimony

My youngest son graduates from high school this week. Honestly, there were times I wasn’t sure he’d make it. But, he struggled and pushed and refused to give up. He stayed resilient and tough in tremendous trials.

The semicolon tattoo has gained popularity in recent years as a symbol of mental health awareness.
Adoption date

He made it. He’s ready to try the world out on his own. Yet, he also knows he’s never really alone, never really on his own.

Check out this post for a description of this tattoo.
He came. He died. He rose. He ascended. He’s coming again.

My son will always have these reminders tattooed on his skin. They’re more than that, though. They’re his testimony too.

Misplaced Determination

Ever come across someone who refuses to admit they’re wrong? What about someone determined to do only what they feel like doing regardless of how it impacts others? If we’re all honest, we’re all guilty of doing both. Living this way habitually eventually leads to a loss of a moral center characterized by a rebellious, vague, everchanging lack of focus.

Determination can be good or bad. It all depends on the object, the focus, of that determination.

“They are determined with faces set like stone; they have refused to repent.” (Jeremiah 5:3)

Refusal to repent results from selfishness and pride. The desire to follow feelings only drives selfishness. Unwillingness to admit when wrong or even to consider being wrong a possibility comes from pride.

Humility is a learned attitude. It comes with experiencing the relational benefits of a humble attitude. This is especially true in contrast to the relational consequences that accompany pride and selfishness.

Humility is a matter of focus too. It’s a matter of properly directed determination. It’s about allowing yourself to be led versus insisting on leading self.

“Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” (Qui Gon Jinn, Star Wars)

The Worst Lie You Can Tell

Years ago, my college Intrapersonal Communications teacher started a class session with this statement:

“You cannot lie to yourself.”

He explained that this is because we eventually believe what we continually tell ourselves. In other words, even though what we’re saying may be a lie, our minds eventually accept and act on it as truth. Essentially, then, we can reprogram our thinking with lies.

What’s more, research actually supports this assertion.

“Humans are masters of self-deception. We fool ourselves into believing things that are false, and we refuse to believe things that are true.”  (How Do I Know When I Am Lying to Myself?)

Self-deception also comes up often in literature.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” (The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky)

“Self lies are the worst lies…” (Richard Bach)

Most significantly for Christians, the struggle with lying to ourselves is also confronted in the Bible.

“Keep my from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your law.” (Psalm 119:29)

Self-deception is the worst type of lie because it reprograms how we think, and the way we think determines the reality of our lives. For this reason, we need to regularly let our minds be renewed.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)

Our culture seems to condone self-deception. The follow-your-feelings, seek-your-own-truth pattern of the world seeks to conform our thinking. It’s telling us that lying is acceptable if it fits with your personal truth.

Refuse to conform to this worldly pattern. Regularly assess your thinking by getting in God’s word and letting it transform you. Know God’s will, so you can regularly cast down any thinking that conflicts with it.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32-32)

Refocusing on Christ

Should & Could But Don’t

There’s so much information available telling us what we should be doing and how we could be improving our lives. Just take a look at the self-help books currently on shelves, virtual or otherwise, not to mention the many Internet resources dedicated to the task.

With all these resources telling us what we could and should do, self-improvement can seem impossible. Even when we find ways we actually want to change and techniques that would work, we still often just don’t do them.

Why? Too much work. The pain of staying where we are still isn’t bigger than the pain of changing. Or, maybe you’ve taken some of the advice, and implemented change. After a while, though, you find yourself back to your old habits and way of thinking.

This happens with Scripture too. We read it. We know what we should do. But, we don’t do it. Paul describes this struggle well.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:15-19)

Refocus Your Identity

If I dwell on how much I should do and could do but don’t do, I get overwhelmed. Discouragement usually follows. And eventually, I simply feel like a failure.

For many, the solution involves just not thinking about it. Just don’t consider the changes you should and could make. Stay ignorant. Stay conveniently confused. Stay too busy.

My personality doesn’t generally allow for this. It prefers ruminating about how much I haven’t done and then succumbing to depression and defeat.

Whatever your tendency, be sure of this. If you never do any of what you should or could do, you’re accepted, secure and significant. Even if you somehow managed to do all of what you think you should or could do, you’re not any more or less accepted, secure, and significant.

When you accepted Christ as Savior and made him Lord of your life, you were fully justified — declared righteous — at that moment. Your Identity In Christ is secure. Nothing else you can or think you should do will make you any more accepted, secure and significant than you were at that moment. With that realization comes an amazing peace.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)

Refocus on Jesus

That doesn’t mean we can ignore how we should and could improve. But, it does change our motivation for doing so. With that motivation change comes a refocus on progress toward perfection — on progressive sanctification.

Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

This is the process of spiritual growth. In general, it involves letting the Holy Spirit work change in us and then doing our part to live out that change.

Train yourself to be godly.” (1 Timothy 4:7)

Even that process can seem overwhelming at times. But that’s usually when we focus on ourselves; at least, that’s my continual struggle. In fact, the only way I’ve been able to maintain consistency in living the fact that I am accepted, secure and significant is by focusing on Christ.

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Today as I again struggle with feeling out of balance and out of sync, I am reminded yet again that I am still accepted, secure and significant. So, instead of letting depression or anxiety or defeat take over again, I remember my secure position and turn once more back toward the reason it exists.

The Joy of Discovery

“There is no such thing as the unknown — only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.” (Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trek)

I love to know stuff. Not the stuff of gossip, the nitty-gritty, intimate details of people’s lives, but interesting facts and stories within science, technology, medicine, history, space exploration, etc.. Really, almost any topic.

Making Connections

Making connections. Being inspired. Finding practical application. All motivate me to learn, discover, observe and explore.

Above all, though, I love making connections between that which comes from man’s discoveries and what Scripture tells us about God. Specifically, I’m drawn to those connections that help me better understand and apply God’s Word to everyday life.

And it’s not just non-fiction that does this. Fiction helps make connections and discover application just as much and in some ways more so than non-fiction. The best fiction comes saturated with truth, whether the infused truth is from science or medicine or history or human behavior. Then it proceeds to help me better understand life this side of Heaven and even into eternity itself.

Even fantasy fiction (think Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia) makes worthwhile connections. Though the truth it’s filled with — morality, bravery, connection, selflessness — is set in a completely made-up world, it still inspires me and elevates my knowledge.

Drawn By Discovery

I’m drawn by the discovery of the unknown. Great stories. Knowledge and information I didn’t have before. Inspiration. Motivation.

Discovery of the unknown so often means finding what I need in a way that makes me want to be better and do more. And, ultimately, it’s a gain that draws me to understanding more of and drawing me closer to my Creator.

Frustrating, But Worth It

Trivia fits well within my thirst to know stuff. On the one hand, I love trivia, at least when I know the answers. Trivia most of the time, however, frustrates me because it seems to point out what I don’t know well more than it shows what I do know. If I think about it too much, I actually get discouraged by how little I really know based on all there is to know.

Bible study does the same. The more I study it, the more I realize I don’t know, and that sometimes frustrates me. At the same time, pushing through that lack of knowing reaps rewards beyond what I could imagine. Every time.

Where I instead try to focus, rather than on how much I don’t know, is on the joy of discovery. I try to keep my intent on moving toward the time when nothing is hidden or not understood anymore.

“For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God].” (1 Corinthians 13:12AMP)

Practicing Righteousness

What is Righteousness?

Like faithfulness, many people struggle with the concept of righteousness. It’s a very churchy-sounding word, after all, and can seem overwhelming, even impossible. Because it feels impossible, many think “Why bother?”

I sometimes feel the weight of the seeming impossibility of righteousness. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit always brings me back to a right focus.

“Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he (Jesus) is righteous.” (1 John 3:7)

Righteousness is a way of living, a way of imitating Jesus based on the divine, moral law given in the Bible. That at its core means we do what God says we should do and live how He wants us to live.

What’s more, practicing righteousness means show I am already considered righteous. This only inflames my inner conflict with righteousness because being righteous, by definition, means I am free from guilt and sin, that I am justified. I don’t feel that way a lot of the time.

Of course, the conflict I express comes when I attempt righteousness all on my own. Not possible. I know this both by my many failures and by what the Bible says of the matter.

Righteousness Exemplified

One activity that helped me better understand righteousness was reading about the first person ever called righteous in the Bible. There’s a good trivia question for you. Know who it is?

“Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time.” (Genesis 6:9)

Now, we know Noah wasn’t perfect, at least not of his own accord (Genesis 9:20-22). So what made him righteous… blameless?

If you read all of Genesis 6, you get a solid picture of why Noah found favor and why God considered Him righteous. Three reasons stand out that help me understand how to practice my own righteousness.

1. Noah refused to live according to the culture around him.

Noah was willing to stand out and did not succumb to the evil in the world around him. He alone kept God’s standards.

“Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart… But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” (Genesis 6:5-8)

2. Noah had a relationship with God; he spent time with Him.

“Noah walked with God.” (Genesis 6:9)

Like his grandfather Enoch (Genesis 5:21-24), Noah spent time with God. Unlike his grandfather who eventually simply “was not, for God took him,” Noah had more that God wanted him to accomplish on earth.

3. Noah did what God asked him to do, even when doing so went against human logic.

Though it had never rained, God told Noah to build a boat and put animals in it. Noah’s response?

“Noah did according to all that God had commanded him.” (Genesis 6:22)

Noah’s faith in God is obvious by his obedience.

This post is not a comprehensive study of Noah or of righteousness. The point of this post is to instead help each one of us take steps toward increased understanding of what righteousness looks like in a believer’s life.

Practicing Righteousness

To continue on that journey, spend time with God in His Word. Ask Him to help you walk in righteousness. Study the lives of the many other individuals in the Bible described as righteous, and consider doing a word study on righteousness itself.

The following truths will help you get started. Be sure to read through their accompanying Bible references.

  1. God is completely righteous. (Isaiah 45:21-24)
  2. We can’t be righteous on our own. (Isaiah 64:6)
  3. Human nature is the opposite of righteousness. (Romans 3:10-18)
  4. Righteousness is not attained by works. (Romans 4:18-25)
  5. Law following does not make us righteous. (Galatians 3:11-21)
  6. Righteousness protects the core of a person. (Ephesians 6:14)
  7. Righteousness comes through faith. (Philippians 3:9)
  8. Grow in righteousness by studying God’s words. (2 Timothy 3:16)
  9. Righteousness ought to characterize a believer’s life. (1 Peter 2:24)

Think about how these truths played out in Noah’s life and in the lives of others considered righteous. Realize that while we are declared righteousness, living it is not a one and done attainment but a continual way of living that flows out of a relationship with God as faith in Him grows.

In studying righteousness, or God’s faithfulness or any other topic in the Bible, always remember that we are on the road to perfection, to holiness. We journey that road through small steps that add up over time to make a huge difference. Keep taking those steps and following the path God has set before you.

Identity Crisis

Identity Determines Focus

Protecting your identity is a big deal these days, and for good reason.

  • 10 million Americans yearly are victims of identity theft.
  • Identity theft happens every 10 seconds.
  • Identity theft costs $50 billion yearly.

In addition to identity theft, there are also false identities to consider. From fake IDs to manipulating what people think of you online to the luring of children and teens through social media, false identities wreak havoc and destroy lives in many ways.

Mistaken identity wrecks lives too. With one mistaken-identity arrest daily, there are hundreds of individuals now in prison for crimes they didn’t commit.

A person feels violated when their identity is stolen. They are rightfully angry when someone hurts them or someone they love by manipulation through a false identity. And stories of mistaken identity never cease to baffle comprehension.

What is Identity?

Though our physical selves and identifying information are a big part of our identity, they are not the whole of it. Not even close.

Identity is the core of who you are as a person. It creates your values, which shape your beliefs, which direct your actions. Identity creates your focus, and your focus determines the reality of your life.

Identity is shaped by our early life experiences, by the roles we have and by what we think others think about us. It’s also shaped by our relationships, our aspirations, our personality and our interests.

Identity Crisis

“A period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person’s sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aim or role in society.”

We most often associate identity crisis with teenagers and midlifers. Yet, it happens many other times and for various other reasons too.

We often see identity crisis as a result of an empty nest, job loss and retirement. We’re also now seeing more and more people increasingly confused about their sexual and gender identities for reasons that are highly debatable.

At the heart of any identity crisis lies identity theft, false identity and mistaken identity. We too often let our past define us, or we let what someone did to or said about us shape our identity. We also too often let what our culture says we should look like impact our identity.

I struggled with my identity as a teenager and then again when my parent’s divorced. I went into crisis when I became a mother and also when that same child left for college. The onset of mid life isn’t being too kind to my identity lately either.

What I have progressively discovered through this struggle is that I let the wrong things and people (and wrong doesn’t mean bad) define my identity, who I was at my core. As I increasingly focused on my Identity in Christ, however, I found a firm foundation, one that doesn’t change.

All those other things that gave me an identity vulnerable to crisis changed over time based on my mood or choices. Once I discovered and then better understood and focused on My True Identity, that instability began to gradually disappear.

Identity in Christ

An identity in Christ doesn’t ever change because it doesn’t depend on us in any way. We can take our focus off of that identity, however, since our focus determines our reality.

We’ll go into more detail on an identity in Christ in next week’s post. For now, meditate on the fact that the only secure identity to be had is one founded and secured in Christ.

“For no man can lay a foundation other than that one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 3:11)

“Jesus Christ never changes! He is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)