Transition in Change

Transition vs. Change

Though often used as synonyms, transition and change are not the same.

  • Change is situational.
  • Transition is psychological & requires “inner reorientation.”
  • Change is inevitable; transition is not.
  • We have to go through change.
  • We do not have to transition.

In other words, to quote William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes

“Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”

To further our understanding of the difference between change and transition, let’s look at a couple of examples from Scripture.

Example 1: The Israelites changed, but they didn’t transition. They wandered around the desert for 40 years because they refused to transition. They even expressed a desire to go back to captivity, to the way things were. (See Numbers 13 & 14)

What might this resistance to transition look like today?

  • Trying to control everyone and everything
  • Struggling with depression
  • Struggling with anxiety
  • Exhibiting self-destructive behavior
  • Hurting others
  • Feeling stuck

Example 2: The Apostle Paul changed AND transitioned. He also showed us that doing so is learned; it’s a process.

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11)

Paul went from being a persecutor of Christians to a promoter of the Gospel. Within his writings throughout the New Testament, we discover a man who not only changed because of an encounter with Christ but who also continually transitioned well from that point forward.

The process involves small steps taken over time that add up to make a big difference. In other words, it’s about living a life of making progress toward perfection. Transitioning within change is a required part of that process.

Refining & Pruning

God wants to both change & transition us. He is the author of this process.

“I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.'” (Zechariah 13:9)

“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:7)

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:2)

When something is refined, it becomes a purified precious metal. When something is pruned, it produces a more plentiful crop. For us, this is a painful process but one necessary for growth, which comes only through transition.

A Transitioning Mindset

If you think you’re ready for change, you may be right. The real question is, are you ready to transition? No matter how ready I thought I was (e.g., empty nest), I was always wrong about what it would mean to transition and how ready I thought I was to do so.

What I’ve realized, though, is that if we we’re always ready and perfectly prepared for change, how would we learn trust God? We wouldn’t need the refining and pruning process where we learn contentment regardless of circumstances if we could prepare ourselves for growth on our own. In other words, the painful process of transitioning in change is the process required for growth.

We can, however, establish a transitioning mindset that at least minimizes our resistance to the work of transition God wants us to do in our lives. It leads us to a place of least resistance. We create a transitioning mindset when we take on the perspective of Job.

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

Scripture expresses this same sentiment in other ways, the most well-known being Proverbs 16:9.

“A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Healthy Change involves learning contentment and establishing our stability on Christ and all that he has done for us. This requires that we learn to transition (progress) as we are pruned and refined through all that life brings our way.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

“All That is Gold Does Not Glitter”
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

This is repeated two times in the Lord of the Rings book series by J.R.R. Tolkein and once in the movie produced by Peter Jackson. It speaks to significant plot lines in both. At the same time, it also speaks to some larger life truths. For example:

  1. Appearances don’t tell the whole story.
  2. Wanderers often have a purpose.
  3. Endurance and vitality exist even in the aged.
  4. Renewal and hope are always possible.

These deeper themes illustrate one of the reasons Lord of the Rings is my favorite movie and book. They get me thinking about purpose even within my Wanderlust. Just some thoughts as my life exists in major transition right now.

Wanderlust

Popular on signs and t-shirts these days, the idea of having “wanderlust” is intriguing to me. But I can’t help but wonder…

Why do I have it?

I thought I could come up with a direct answer, but it turns out I can’t. In other words, I’m not sure why, but I know it’s stirred in me with increasing intensity over the years.

Anyone else have this feeling?

Critics say it’s a way to escape the world, to avoid commitments, and to simply have fun. With wanderlust, they say, nothing significant is accomplished. Further, some even claim wanderlust is caused by a specific gene (DRD4-7R).

Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I have not seen these drawbacks when I give in to wanderlust. On the other hand, I do experience the benefits associated with it. Those benefits include…

  • An increased social network
  • An increase in openness, agreeableness, and emotional ability
  • Increased creativity.

With this new season in my life (i.e., empty nest), the wanderlust that has always existed for me seems amplified. I feel ready to expand my boundaries.

Can anyone relate?

IN Not OF the World

While not a direct quote, quite a few verses in the Bible focus on what it means to be IN the world but not OF the world.

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” (John 15:19)

“I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.” (John 17:14-16)

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.” (1 John 2:15)

“I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.” (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)

IN the world but not OF the word means…

  • Being chosen by Christ
  • Being hated by the world
  • Being protected by God
  • Not being attached to the things of the world
  • Not associating with those who call themselves Christian but who live like the world

Essentially, IN not OF the world means pursuing God’s will and not conforming to the world’s patterns or ways of doing things.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)

Two definitions at this point are helpful.

  1. The world = the world system and philosophy headed by Satan.
  2. Conform = act in accordance or harmony; comply; act in agreement with the prevailing standards, attitudes, practices, etc.

These definitions help bring an even deeper understanding of what being IN not OF the world means for Christians.

Conforming to the world makes you an enemy of God.

“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” (James 4:4)

Being transformed to God’s will, however, puts you in a place of victory over Satan and the world.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

Being transformed puts you in a place where you can receive that which the world cannot give.

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11)

No Middle Ground

How do we open ourselves up to the transformation that involves mind renewal and being on the path to God’s will?

  1. Recognize the enemy. (Ephesians 6:12)
  2. Rely on God’s power. (Romans 8:37)
  3. Overcome by the blood. (Revelation 12:11)
  4. Choose to be separate. (2 Corinthians 6:17)

We must choose to step out of the “course of the world” (Ephesians 2:25). To not do so, to take no action either way, is to choose conformity to the world. There is no middle ground.

Overcoming Discouragement

Discouragement happens for a variety of reasons. Maybe that’s why it’s addressed so frequently in the Bible.

  • Job was discouraged because of his family and friends. (Book of Job)
  • Elijah became discouraged after a huge victory. (1 Kings 19)
  • Jeremiah was discouraged with God. (Lamentations 3)
  • Jesus’s disciples were discouraged after his death. (Luke 24:20-21)
  • Peter was discouraged with himself. (Matthew 26)

The insight gained from these individuals along with other Scripture gives us valuable instruction for dealing with our own discouragement.

Honestly acknowledge feelings. This happens with all of the individuals listed above. Being honest with yourself is crucial for opening your mind and spirit to encouragement and hope. In fact, it may just be the first requirement for transitioning from being discouraged to being encouraged.

Take care of yourself physically. God sets the example for this with Elijah. Before addressing Elijah’s discouragement, God makes sure Elijah is nourished, hydrated, and rested. We simply cannot overcome discouragement without taking care of ourselves physically too.

Think about what you’re thinking about. Both Jeremiah and Elijah do this, and we are encouraged to do so as well both through their examples and through other Scripture that addresses our thought lives.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Retrain your brain. This is especially important if discouragement has become like a shadow. Retraining your brain essentially involves cleaning out unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with ones that promote growth and open you up to encouragement.

A mindset that is able to ward off continued discouragement is one that acknowledges and accepts that life is hard and that focuses on knowing that God will create value and purpose out of what you’re going through.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-18)

“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. (Philippians 1:12-14)

Press in close to God. Life is hard. People disappoint. And, God’s ways aren’t always clear or make sense. Pressing close to God acknowledges your trust in him regardless of circumstances.

“The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.” (Nahum 1:7)

Chase out negative feelings. Getting rid of negativity is important, but it only works long term if we replace it with thankfulness.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

When I get discouraged, I revisit the stories in the Bible of others who also experienced discouragement as well as the many verses that speak to how to defeat a mindset of discouragement. Doing so reminds me of God’s activity as well as gives me specific ways to move away from a mindset of negativity and discouragement and toward one of hope and peace in Him.

Remember! Don’t forget!

A “to do” list. Phone alerts. Emails when a bill is due. Push notifications.

We need constant reminders, don’t we? I know I do. Otherwise, I forget all too easily.

Unfortunately, forgetting is a more pervasive problem for me than just with my everyday tasks. It happens with bigger things too. I forget the good that has happened in my life. I need reminders.

It’s why I journal. It’s why I keep lots of family photographs displayed. It’s why I wear this bracelet.

This need for reminders is why God had His people in the Old Testament create memorials, usually with stones.

“Then Joshua called the twelve men he had chosen, and he told them, “Go into the Jordan ahead of the Covenant Box of the Lord your God. Each one of you take a stone on your shoulder, one for each of the tribes of Israel. These stones will remind the people of what the Lord has done. In the future, when your children ask what these stones mean to you, you will tell them that the water of the Jordan stopped flowing when the Lord’s Covenant Box crossed the river. These stones will always remind the people of Israel of what happened here.” (Joshua 4:4-7)

This human tendency to forget is also why so many writers and prophets in the Old Testament repeated “remember” and “do not forget” so much. It’s why God’s people needed – it’s why we need – to be reminded over and over again of who God is, what he’s done, and what he promises to do.

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (Deuteronomy 4:9)

Don’t berate yourself for forgetting so easily. I have to remind myself of this often too. Instead, accept that forgetting easily is a reality of human life, then circumvent it as much as you can with memorials. Purposefully find ways to focus on God, not your feelings or the drama of the day. Simply remember His mercy and grace and make a habit of looking for them and for expecting them to happen again and again.

Long-Term Prayer Request

My youngest son, Richard, (pictured on the left below) left for Navy boot camp today. He’ll be there for 8 weeks before going to training (military police) in San Antonio, TX. Please pray that he excels in both boot camp and MP training. Also, please pray that he finds the support and encouragement of Godly men in the military.

Also, the young man, Logan, on the right in the photo, leaves for Marine boot camp in August. Please keep him in your prayers as well. Thank you!

Cogito Ergo Sum

“I think, therefore I am.” – René Descartes

Because I think, I exist. That’s the sentiment behind this saying. Unfortunately, thinking no longer has value for many people.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room.” – Blaise Pascal, French mathematician, physicist, inventor, writer, and Catholic theologian

Researchers tested Pascal’s thinking by giving individuals a choice between 15 minutes alone with only their thoughts or giving themselves an electric shock.

67% of men and 25% of women chose the electric shock (Sciencemag.org)

What would you choose? Do you struggle being alone with your thoughts?

“Thinking is the hardest work anyone can do, which is probably why we have so few thinkers.” – Henry Ford, American industrialist

Pascal (1623-1662) and Ford (1863-1947) spoke these words in cultures very different from today’s culture. Yet, as research shows, thinking seems to still be a struggle for many.

Our culture seems to be filled with people who don’t want to think much and who seem happy having their thoughts decided for them, usually via electronic channels. People are also very conditioned to being distracted, and this pushes their thinking in often multidirectional ways.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7

What does it mean, then, if someone doesn’t think for himself or can’t even be alone with his thoughts? What does that make him become? If someone would rather receive an electric shock than be alone with his own thoughts for just 15 minutes, what type of person is he becoming?

Food for thought.

My New 4th of July Perspective

Fireworks. Cookouts. Parades. Sarah’s birthday.

Without effort, these used to be my first thoughts when thinking about the 4th of July.

With purposeful thinking…

Independence Day 1776. The Declaration of Independence. Freedom.

Now, as my youngest son prepares to go into the Navy in just 2 weeks, my perspective is different.

Sacrifice. Freedom isn’t free.

I always knew these truths, but they have become more real to me. Amazing how your perspective can change with the transitions of life’s seasons.

Refocus

Disconnected?

Ever long to connect with God through his word but feel disconnected when you read the words on the page? I do.

Even after years of teaching Bible studies and doing daily devotions, I sometimes feel disconnected from God. Sometimes, my mind simply fails to connect with what the Spirit of God is trying to say to me through the words of Scripture.

Deferred Pain

When this happens, it’s usually an indication of something else going on in my life. Deferred pain, if you will.

That “something,” in my experience, is usually a combination of small somethings that added up slowly over time and created a big disconnect. So, my first step usually involves awareness of those smaller things and, essentially, addressing the sources causing this deferred pain.

Developing Awareness

That awareness comes though quietness and prayer. Through these practices, the Holy Spirit’s voice rises to the top of all the other voices vying for my attention.

He usually begins with reminders and directives:

  • Nothing is beyond the reach of my power.
  • Quit trying to force things to happen.
  • Wait for me to work.
  • Acknowledge me.
  • I will direct you.
  • Focus your thoughts.
  • Quit letting your fears direct your focus.

Slowly, through meditation on His Word and just existing in quietness, I am redirected to looking at Jesus instead of trying to find answers and solutions.

Focus determines reality. A truth that I need continually reminded of in my life.