Happy Anniversary!

May 25, 2012

This past Tuesday, my husband and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. (Our wedding anniversary also marks 25 years of officially being a couple.) Tomorrow marks the 6-month anniversary of Struggle to Victory. As I thought about these two anniversaries, I realized how many of the same principles that made my marriage successful will also make my blog successful as well.

  1. Consistency. Consistently forgiving, striving to meet each other’s needs and making God the focal point of our marriage. Choosing to focus consistently on these and other areas creates a strong marriage. When I started blogging, I remember the experts recommending posting consistently. Consistency creates a sense of reliability and trust, elements essential for any relationship, whether face-to-face or virtual.
  2. Commitment. No matter what, my husband and I remain committed to each other. This held true when we struggled through my chronic depression, the colic of our first child, and the journey that comes with adopting an older child. Never give up! Commitment to blogging also means not giving up. I have read more than once that many bloggers give up just before they would have hit the success for which they have been working. Simply never giving up helps ensure success in a marriage as well as in blogging.
  3. Courage. In marriage, courage comes into play with trusting your spouse. This is built and grows over time, and having the courage to keep working toward trust (both giving and receiving) goes a long way in strengthening a marriage. Courage with blogging involves putting your thoughts and ideas on the internet for all to see. It also means risking controversy and offense. Without courage, can one truly be a successful blogger that connects with readers?
  4. Connection. Connecting on a regular basis provides the glue that allows consistency, commitment and courage to truly create a strong marriage. My husband and I make a point to connect every night after the kids are in bed. (We explained to our now teenage son that this was why we insisted on an earlier bedtime than most of his friends, and he now cheerfully goes up to his room at the designated time). We also take a weekend trip together quarterly. This is the minimum, and usually we connect more than that. Connection is also essential in blogging. Connect with readers. Connect with other bloggers. Use the various avenues of comment streams and social networking to connect with others. Connection is the glue to any long-term relationship.
  5. Communication. Certainly a part of connection, communication also involves making sure goals and objectives line up as much as possible. This can mean coordinating weekly activities or focusing on larger goals such as reducing debt or making a large purchase. Communicating needs, wants, desires, etc. and being honest when doing so creates a culture of growth in a marriage. Communication for a blog means creating clear content that shows understanding of reader’s needs, wants and desires. Communication of any sort requires deliberate and intentional focus on a consistent basis.

Following in the steps of other godly marriages, my husband and I employ the above elements to make our marriage healthy and strong. Following in the steps of successful bloggers does the same for my blog. When I first began blogging, two resources provided the bulk of the information I needed. Ghostwriter Dad and ProBlogger got me started with the tips mentioned in this post as well as many others tips and ideas. I recommend them highly as resources for any blogger.

My marriage is by far more successful than my blog, and I hope it always remains as such. Yet, I know that if I employ the same principles in blogging as my husband and I do in our marriage, Struggle to Victory will be close to its 19th Anniversary when my husband and I celebrate our 39th Anniversary.

15 Responses to “Happy Anniversary!”

  1. Barb Says:

    This is great, Kari. Very encouraging. Thanks! (And I will check out those blogging sites – I need all the help I can get!)

  2. Mark Allman Says:

    I think clarifying expectations is always a key in relationships. Unmet expectations let to bitterness and hurt feelings. Sometimes they are unmet because they are not known. I think expectations should be discussed frequently.

    • Kari Scare Says:

      Totally agree. In fact, I have been working on a blog post dedicated solely to expectations. Got any more thoughts on content?

      • Mark Allman Says:

        Here you go:


        We all have expectations

        People are not privy to what our expectations are

        Our spouses or loved ones should not be expected to know what our expectations are unless they have been clearly communicated

        Expectations are not requirements in relationships

        Expectations are not rights

        Unmet expectations led to bitterness, and frustrations and a degrading of the relationship

        It takes work to understand another persons expectations

        It takes courage to tell someone they have not met your expectations

        Expectations should be discussed regularly if appropriate

        Writing down expectations can help clarify them

        Expectations are part of all of our relationships

        • Kari Scare Says:

          Wow! These are really great thoughts and ideas. Maybe you should write a post for me on expectations 🙂 Thanks for your input. Very helpful!

  3. Mark Allman Says:

    Congratulations on your anniversary. I hope I am reading this on your 39th.

  4. tnealtarver Says:

    Again congratulations on 19 years of marriage. Working with high school athletes, I hear the effects of broken commitments every time the team gathers (including this evening in our opening baseball playoff game–a victory). "My stepdad …" "My dad's girlfriend …" "They got divorced …" etc. Your commitment to one another makes a difference in the lives of your children. Well done. I look forward to hearing more from you in your writing journey as well.

  5. Diane Says:

    All five "principles" of a successful marriage/blogging are intermingled definately. Amazing how just having one principle can help in another area of marriage or having an attitude of committment, courage, and consistency just attributes to being connected and opens the lines of communication. Great job. Here's to another 19 years!!!

    • Kari Scare Says:

      A marriage is the closest relationship we have on earth to what we can have and will have with God, which is why the elements of a good marriage apply to so many other areas of life. Amazing how I will still be 29 when we hit that second 19 too. God is good!

  6. Congratulations. And Communication was the one that hit me hard. It's been something we've had to continually work on. I guess we're just really bad at it, haha.

  7. […] This post was inspired by the comments of Mark Allman in the post Happy Anniversary. […]

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