Consistent Stretching & Strengthening
July 15, 2014
Foot and leg pain began when I started running at age 14 because a boy I liked ran cross country. (Incidentally, over 20 years later, not only do I still run, but I’m married to that boy who also still runs.) My first memory of these problems were shin splints. My cross country coach faithfully taped my feet before every practice & meet to help alleviate some of the pain.
My mom took me to the podiatrist who fitted me with orthodics, which I don’t recall really wearing much (okay, not at all). In college, I ran very little, so the pain subsided, and I all but forgot about it.
Then the pain started again after college because I started running again. I also started teaching college classes, which meant a lot of standing, and the pain in my feet and legs gradually increased and returned worse than ever.
After trying orthodics again, expensive shoes & lots of rest, I finally sought to revamp my running form as well as to incorporate cross training activities. Still, the pain increased to the point of not being able to walk without a limp.
Next, I endured the most painful event ever in my life, nerve testing of my feet (seriously, huge crochet needs stuck in the side of my feet). No problems found. Next came hours of physical therapy on pretty much every joint & ligament from the waste down. Painful.
The point? I’ve done a lot to find relief from this chronic feet, leg & hip pain. But only one route brought any consistent relief… stretching & strengthening.
Physical therapy taught me how to stretch the tight muscles in my legs and feet. About the same time, I began to strengthen my core too. When I do these regularly, my feet and leg pain – along with any back pain – almost disappears. Missing a day or two here and there isn’t a big deal, but chronically missing them gradually brings back the pain and tingling sensation.
My lifelong struggle with foot, leg and hip pain and finally finding the solution of stretching and strengthening remind me of the importance of consistent Bible study, prayer and fellowship. When I do these activities regularly, my focus remains steadily on Christ and my purposes set toward His desires. When I don’t, I lose focus easily and find myself lost and unbalanced in a chaotic world. These activities, when done consistently, do for my soul what stretching does for my muscles… prepare me to better handle the stress and strain of life.
So, why don’t I always keep with the habits of prayer, Bible study & fellowship?Probably for the same reason I neglect my stretching & strengthening routine at times. When the pain goes away, I forget what brought relief. Conversely, when I feel the pain, I’m motivated toward the habits that keep me flexible and strong.
The same holds true spiritually. Unfortunately, I’ve sort of trained God that I need to feel pain and/or discomfort in order to keep to the good habits that provide for my protection. He knows I need to be reminded of the basic habits needed to remain strong and flexible in this journey of life.
Does your life reflect this truth? Share your story in the comments.
You Play How You Practice
July 8, 2014
As my boys progress in sports (cross country, track, football, basketball & baseball), they increasingly learn the value of practice. Largely, that means the value of repetitiveness for learning and improving. But equally important involves realizing that games and meets simply exist as reflections of how they practice.
In baseball, how my youngest runs bases in practice comes through clearly in his game performance. Any goofing off or slacking in practice results in a flat at best and mistake ridden at worse, game. Same with hitting and catching.
My oldest runs, and this principle applies equally to even the more individually-oriented sports. (That’s not to say running isn’t a team sport, because it definitely is.) My son used to run with his friends during practice, but this often meant he wasn’t running to his potential. As a result, his race times were mediocre and inconsistent. When he realized that pushing himself in practice resulted in faster races, he practiced with more intention. Not only is every race now hard and fast, he is one of the most consistent runners on the team.
I began wondering if this idea transferred to other areas of life too, say my walk as a follower of Christ. If so, when did I practice? And when were the games?
“And they will know you are my disciples by your love for one another.” (John 13:35)
While there are other ways, essentially our interactions with other Christians reflects on how we will interact with non-Christians. In other words, our “practice” takes place around other Christians. Below are my initial ideas on this, and hopefully you also see the hints of Scripture within them without me pointing them out:
- If we love each other, our love for Christ shows.
- If we don’t love each other, non-Christians question the validity of the faith we profess.
- Preferring others is one way to love each other.
- We can improve at loving others the more we practice doing so.
- We both provide and have examples to follow when we love each other.
- Regular interactions (practices) with a “coach” (pastor, mentor, teacher, etc.) are essential.
- Serving allows for exploration and exercising of gifts.
- When love for one another lacks unity, we lose valuable energy for loving outside the body (in the game).
- Loving others in the body means helping the body as a whole, including the “weaker” parts, to become stronger.
- Game time takes place on the mission field of life.
To help with application, consider the following questions. Please share your thoughts in the comments.
What happens when we look at time with other Christians as practice that prepares us for game time (time with non-Christians)? How does this change our attitude, actions & words?
Do we too often view loving other Christians as the game and then spend all of our time & energy there? Do we practice a lot & then forget to show up for the game?
Or, maybe our practices aren’t very good, maybe we’re not trying very hard. Maybe we’re not living love. How does a weak practice time impact game time?
What if we just aren’t playing as a unit? What if we’re trying to put an “I” in team?
While not a perfect analogy, how does the idea of “you practice how you play” fit into your view of how we should live as Christians?
How to Maintain Balance
June 26, 2014
As I consider the times I’ve found myself out of balance, which is more than I like to admit, I realize that I only become imbalanced when I fail to adjust. When I neglect making adjustments as my life changes and as struggles arise, I lose my balance and fall over.
The answer, then, to how to maintain balance, involves making constant adjustments, to continually finding a new normal as circumstances change with the seasons of life. This requires honesty with yourself along with humility to admit the need to adjust. As we learn to live in this constant state of adjustment, which is really what balance is all about, we’ll find that we continually improve in our ability to balance.
Adjusting for Balance
Making the following adjustments on a regular basis helps me stay consistently balanced. That doesn’t necessarily mean I am always balanced… but I certainly live there more frequently the more I consistently practice these habits:
Slow but don’t stop. Refuse to give up and quit. Take time to slow down and rest if necessary, but keep moving forward.- Maintain focus. Establish core values and align focus daily.
- Be a team player. Don’t attempt balance alone. Have regular accountability.
- Evaluate regularly. From work commitments to relationships, make sure priorities stay properly ordered.
- Find ways to simplify. Life is chaotic enough on its own; refuse to add complication.
- Be yourself. Balance and simplicity are unique to the individual. Find your balance. Find your simple. Find your normal.
- Know yourself. Find your niche, not someone else’s. Dan Erickson’s post “why you can’t have what your neighbor has” can help shed light on this idea.
- Avoid comparisons. I can always find someone better and worse at balance, but neither does anything to help me stay balanced.
All too often, I go from simply trying to balance the various elements in my life to juggling them. Trying to balance and juggle at the same time is hard; in fact, I can’t do it. Can you? Yet all too often that’s exactly where we live. It’s a place where I’m not just trying to keep my life balanced, but I’m also tossing appointments and commitments and projects and people around like juggling balls. In this place, I’m losing the strength and ability, the margin I need, to adjust for consistent balance.
But when I continually adjust for balance, I’m better able to discover and live a harmonious life. And in that harmony exists the margin of peace amidst chaos. Try it… I know you’ll like it there.
DISCUSSION: How do you adjust for balance? If you feel like a circus act both juggling and balancing, what can you change to move toward less chaos?
Recently, Bill Grandi at Cycle Guy’s Spin ran a series called Second Chances. In it, I wrote about my struggle with depression. Through a series of questions and emails, Bill asked if I would consider writing more about my struggle and how I (with God’s help) overcame it. He sent me some questions, and we decided to run it as sort of an interview. Due to length, it is divided into five conversations. Here’s the link to the first one and the second one. The third will come next week.
The Role of Accountability in Balance
June 12, 2014
For over 20 years, running partners made sure I regularly completed the miles needed for my goals. In recent years, I meet with a Godly woman from church for Biblical accountability. In writing, accountability comes through my critique partner as well as through Godly people I interact with online. And of course, my spouse provides accountability like no other person in my life.
What is Accountability?
Being accountable means being responsible & answerable. Accountability means not simply acting according to feelings, wants and desires but basing actions on what we believe is honorable and truthful.
Accountability keeps us from hurting ourselves and others by making us liable, responsible and answerable for our actions or lack of action. Without accountability, the door remains open for saying and doing just about anything we want.
Accountability and Balance
Accountability to God and to other Christians exists as a Biblical principle (see Galatians 6:1-5, Luke 17:3, James 5:16, Romans 14:12 & Hebrews 4:13.) It also serves to strengthen us in ways we could not discover on our own.
But how does accountability help specifically with balance?
Accountability provides a source of wisdom for the adjustments needed to maintain balance and keep from toppling over under the pressure and stress of our overloaded and drama-filled lives. Simply put, allowing accountability to function properly makes balance easier to maintain. When I neglect and/or ignore accountability, my life quickly becomes unstable.
Accountability helps maintain balance because it…
- Encourages us. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Accountability helps us know what we’re doing right and gives direction for decisions. It also helps us know we’re not alone in our struggles.
- Improves us. (Proverbs 17:17) We need others to alert us to improvements as well as how to go about making them. Attempting to stay balanced alone just isn’t possible because we simply cannot accurately see everything about ourselves.
- Makes us think about our words. The Bible says we’ll be held accountable for every idle word we speak (Matthew 12:36-37). Accountability forces us to not only think about what we say but also about what influences exist at the heart of our words.
- Builds trust. (Luke 16:10-12) Letting Godly people speak into our lives exercises humbleness. It practices our willingness to open ourselves up to necessary change, and this stretches us in a way that allows for bigger responsibility as we gain a reputation for honesty and transparency.
- Realigns us when we mess up. (1 John 2:1-29 & James 5:16) We’re expected to mess up. That’s part of life this side of Heaven. So, the real test of solid character shows with how a person reacts after messing up. A willingness to be reshaped by the Godly wisdom of another goes a long way in getting back on track after making mistakes.
Establishing Accountability
Accountability only comes when we deliberately pursue it. This happens by being…
- Open to it. This means not being defensive and instead being teachable. Accountability requires humbleness.
- Transparent & honest. I need to share my weaknesses and struggles in order for another to truly be able to help me. The protective bubble surrounding my ego has to go.
- Willing to receive it. Too many times, I’ve appeared open to accountability and then proceeded to ignore all wisdom coming my way. Be willing to apply and adjust using the wisdom gained through accountability.
Before I can be someone to whom another becomes accountable, I must make sure I am first willing to be accountable to another person. This in itself is another aspect of balance that accountability brings into a person’s life.
I wish I could say that I’ve always had this level of accountability in my life, but that would be a lie. Because I’ve been on the other end of the extreme, living a life completely absent of accountability, I can say with certainty that it is a necessity for maintaining a balanced life.
DISCUSSION: What role does accountability play in helping you maintain balance? If you’re out of balance, how can accountability help you find balance again?
Loren Pinilis at Life of a Steward offers additional insight into the topic of accountability in his recent post “The Key to Making Accountability Work.”
Definitely worth taking the time to read!
Reducing & Preventing Overload by Capturing Thoughts
May 22, 2014
In Solving the Problem of Information Overload, we realized that the goal for reducing overload involves balance, which comes through deliberately capturing and filtering thoughts and by setting information boundaries.
When we receive information, regardless of its source and avenue, we react to it through our thought lives. The more aware we are of this process, the better able we are to deliberately make choices regarding our focus.
A large part of capturing thoughts involves creating a strong core of truth within us out of which our thoughts can then operate.
Capturing Thoughts
Taking thoughts – the products of our God-given ability to reason, reflect and respond – captive means avoiding decisions based solely on our finite processing. This requires holding to a central truth to help govern those thoughts.
Truth should shape us, not the information we take in. The information we receive and digest, whether overloading us or not, should not sculpt thoughts. If it is, we’ve got it backwards. Instead, let truth determine the shape & direction of thoughts. Information then becomes a tool for spreading truth.
Spending time in Scripture allows truth to become part of our thinking and to fuel our filtering system. This practice must exist at our core instead of as a problem-solving method only, and this only happens by spending time regularly dwelling with Him and allowing His Holy Spirit to guide our thinking (1 Corinthians 2:10-16).
Reducing Overload
An overloaded mind produces a divided focus, and a divided focus fails to live fully by truth. So, in addition to establishing a habit of building core strength on truth, capturing thoughts involves limiting and managing the information we take in to allow for a more singular focus.
To reduce overload in a way that allows truth to direct and guide, first limit incoming information and then make sure what you do allow to dwell supplements your thinking instead of draining it.
This process requires taking the time to think about what you’re thinking by asking the following questions regularly:
-
What am I allowing to shape my thoughts? Psalm 1:1-2 says to avoid bad influences and focus on good. We’ll cover more of how to manage this in the next post. -
What am I allowing to dwell in my mind? If you think you can’t help what you think about, you’re wrong. Scripture tells us we can choose where to fix our thoughts (See Romans 8:5, Philippians 4:8 & Hebrews 3:1)
-
What is the source of my thoughts? Do they come from the thinking of others? Or, do they flow out of the truth of Christ established in you? (See Colossians 2:8)
Overload blocks deliberate thinking and even an awareness of the thinking process itself. At some point, you just have to say “Enough!” and give yourself time and space to stop the inflow of information, consider what’s going through your head (writing thoughts down or talking them out can help), and pit them against God’s truth.
If you fail to capture your thoughts by thinking about what you’re thinking, you’ll be the one in the cage while your thoughts wreak havoc as you watch through the bars of overload. Choose to use information as a supplement and an avenue to spread truth instead of letting it overload you.
DISCUSSION: What experience do you have with reducing information overload? What role did God’s word play in that process?
Getting to the Root Cause of Stress
March 6, 2014
If you were to take the time to map out all the reasons for stress in your life, you’ll likely discover one main root cause. Yes, stress really is that simple.
What is the root cause? Fear. If we’re brutally honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that when we’re overwhelmed by stressed, we’re really acting in fear.
Fear of failure, Fear of letting others down. Fear of being let down. Fear of sickness and death. Fear of being controlled. Fear of not having enough money. Fear of kids rebelling or getting hurt or failing or embarrassing you. Fear of missing opportunities. Fear of making wrong choices. Fear of loneliness. Fear of mediocrity.
Oh wait, those are MY fears. Those are what cause MY stress. But maybe you can relate?
Unable to Wait
As I thought more about the fears causing my stress, I realized at the heart is my inability to control people and events. And nowhere is this reality more evident than in my inability to wait for God.
Bob Sorge in The Fire of Delayed Answers says there are three temptations that derail believers trying to wait for God to speak into their lives.
- The temptation to demand and immediate answer.
- The temptation to give up.
- The temptation to just “do something.”
When I think about the times I’ve given into these temptations, I realize they happen because I believe one of my fears is about to be realized. And in my refusal to wait, I’m usually just trying to save myself from that fear. At the same time, I’m allowing my feelings to control my decisions as well as rationalizing and justifying why I can stop the waiting.
The odd thing is that when I give in to these temptations, when I let fear get the best of me, I end up increasing my stress and allowing fear to gain more of a foothold.
How to Finally Overcome Stress
One of the best stress relievers and probably one of the least pursued is quietness. We sometimes make stellar attempts at quietness on vacations only to return to chaotic lives. While times away have their place and value, it’s really a habit of quietness that addresses fears and derails stress.
As Sorge notes, we have to remember three important points about quietness. It’s does not mean silence, it’s not instant, and it’s easily lost. Quietness must become a habit in order for it to truly alleviate stress.
My own journey to a less stressful life reflects the truth of what Sorge says about quietness. In fact, as I learn to practice quietness, my fears lessen, which in turn reduces stress. Sure, life continues to generate stressful situations and seasons, but they are no longer flavored with fear.
Instead, I am experiencing “perfect love that casts out fear” (1 John 4:18) by seeking Him through:
- Reading Scripture: Simply reading the Word of God and letting it live and breathe within me on a regular basis.
- Praying Often: A regular conversation with my Creator transforms stress and overload into times of experiencing Him more.
- Seeking Input: Godly influence of those who’ve been where you are and are where you want to be is invaluable.
- Pursuing Health: Being physically healthy makes a tremendous difference in not letting fears take control.
- Simplifying: The simpler the life, the more likely quietness becomes a transformational habit.
As quietness increases and fears subside, as stress no longer rules and reigns, my inner atmosphere increases in peaceful consistency and reliability. And as this happens, I’m experiencing a transformation that only God could orchestrate.
DISCUSSION: How does fear impact your stress level? What are you doing to overcome that fear?
Join the Book club discussing Fire of Delayed Answers by Bob Sorge by leaving a comment below. You can also read more reflections on this book from Jason, Sarah, Dusty, TC, Glynn, and Joell.
GUEST POST INVITATION: For the month of April, my focus will be on guest posting. This will include some of my own guest posts, promotion of other’s blogs and guest post featured on Struggle to Victory. If you are interested in either writing a post for this blog or having me write a post for your blog, please contact me via email. There are still several slots available on the calendar.
Are Your Relationships Silver or Gold?
February 27, 2014
The Role of Thankfulness in Relationships
For the most part, my time spent in the Girl Scouts exists in my memory as a huge disaster. I’ll spare you the details and just tell the one positive I remember related to this short song learned in Girl Scouts so many years ago.
As friendships change and grow with the seasons of life, marking each one with value and purpose helps appreciate the always fluctuating nature of relationships. In recent years, teaching this principle to my boys helps them as they transition into adulthood and see their own relationships impacted accordingly.
Realizing that relationships really reflect the stages of our lives helps understand their role in life’s seasons. But more importantly, our relationships provide the medium through which we express the love within us that grows out from our relationship with Christ as He continually develops our new natures. As we practice Making Allowances, learn to Love Others AS Ourselves, apply Wisdom in Relationships and Dress for Success in Relationships, we reflect the increasing love of our continually renewing relationship with Christ.
This understanding cultivates thankfulness for every relationship, however brief, experienced through the years. And that thankfulness creates a tie that truly does bind.
Tied by Thankfulness
Thankfulness unifies. As we read through Colossians 3, noting where thankfulness is mentioned, it seems clear that thankfulness seems to describe a characteristic of all the “clothing” talked about in this scripture.
Colossians 3:15-17 especially gets at the role of thankfulness in our New Nature Relationships.
Every time we’re told to live out our new natures, a call to thankfulness is also issued. This tells us that not only do we need to take off the clothing of our old nature (v. 9) and put on the clothing of our new nature (v. 10), we are to also demonstrate thankfulness while we live lives where the love of Christ flows out from within us into our New Nature Relationships.
DISCUSSION: How can we infuse our New Nature Relationships with thankfulness?
5 Life Lessons Learned from Rocket Football
November 16, 2012
This past Rocket Football season, which ended about a month ago, proved to be one of tremendous growth in my son’s football skills and in his personal maturity. And those same lessons that cultivated his growth have been planted in my spirit for fruitful growth as well.
1.) Hang on when you’re getting dragged through the mud. In one rather wet and muddy game, my son grabbed onto the leg of a rather large opponent who was carrying the ball and refused to let go even as he was drug through the mud. Eventually, my son’s teammates came to help tackle the ball carrier.
The lesson? This lesson does not involve letting others take advantage of you. Instead, it involves simply hanging on until help arrives, because help is always available to those who ask.
2.) Keep your head up! My son started the season missing way too many tackles because he dove for the player instead of keeping his head up & wrapping his arms around the ball carrier. As the season progressed, however, he learned to wrap up and close. When he focused in by keeping his head up, he made some terrific tackles.
The lesson? My focus gets off all to easily in my busy life, and I often miss opportunities. I’m learning to keep my head up – to keep my focus – and am also finding success like never before.
3.) Practice how you want to play the game. At first, practices held a bit too much social time and not enough practice for my son and many of the other boys on the team. My son gradually (with some “encouragement” from myself and my husband) began to understand that his habits in practice determined his success during the game. With this realization came more focus (as much as an 11-year-old can focus) and effort in every practice.
The lesson? Sometimes I get lulled into daily habits and routine, forgetting that my everyday focus determines my overall reality. I need to learn to better connect the two.
4.) Learn from mistakes and move on. In a single play of one of his games, my son received two penalties for blocking in the back. He had not yet been taught how to tackle a player he was catching from behind. He could have gotten discouraged after that play, but he instead choose to learn from it. He moved on and improved in his tacking as a result.
The lesson? Mistakes can limit you or shape you in a positive way. You choose.
5.) Don’t let your perspective be limited by others. In one practice drill, players took turns tacking someone carrying the ball while the rest of the team stood watching and were lined up to form a sort of tunnel where this drill took place. When my son’s turn came after half the team had completed the drill already, instead of tackling the ball carrier, he took the ball away from him. He simply saw an opportunity and took action.
The lesson? My son didn’t let what everyone else did confine his perspective. His ever-present ability to see things differently than others do inspires me to not let “the way things have always been done” confine me.
My son is not the biggest player on the team. Look at the picture to the right. See the Plainwell guy in blue in the middle of the picture with red tape on his helmet? My son is the little guy next to him. (For those who don’t know, red tape on the helmet means a kid is too big to carry the ball.)
My son often finds himself considerably smaller than his opponents. But his energy and tenacity never seems to wane. His never-give-up approach to football inspires me to change my outlook when I feel like life is relentlessly pursuing me like a linebacker going after a running back.
DISCUSSION: Which of these lessons resonates the most with you and why?
Subscribe to Struggle to Victory by Email or 
Subscribe in a reader
Essential Elements of Vision Therapy
June 8, 2012
Many optometrists do not recognize when someone needs vision therapy. In fact, a person with vision problems often passes an eye exam. This happened with my son, and we did not realize it until one of his teachers suggested we check into vision therapy.
Elements of Vision Therapy
Before a patient begins vision therapy, an eye therapist does an assessment. Then, a doctor specializing in vision-related problems reviews and interprets the results. He creates a treatment plan with goals and expectations. Next, patients attend in-office therapy. Patients also have tasks to complete at home.
This process works well for our spiritual lives too. It can correct and prevent vision-related spiritual problems like double-mindedness, lack of or wrong focus, and absence of alertness that plague our spiritual lives.
After asking the question, Do you Need Vision Therapy, proceed to implementing the necessary elements.
Elements of Spiritual Vision Therapy
- The basics serve as a vision evaluation for our spiritual lives. They include regular fellowship, daily Bible study and prayer. These create the core of our spiritual health. Stopping regular practice of any of these habits leads to blurred spiritual vision and even blindness. (Colossians 4:2, 3; Acts 2:42)
- Consultation with a seasoned saint provides the insightful observations to help adjust spiritual progress. In addition, regular accountability keeps our blind spots from creating havoc. Talking out problems is often all that’s needed to find a solution. (Galatians 6:1, 2)
- Expert advice comes through a variety of sources. Some struggles need the experienced vision of a pastor or Christian counselor. Regularly reading Christian books also provides preventative as well as problem-specific advice.
- Practice involves not just taking in the Word and hearing from God, but also “going into all the world” and practicing what God plants inside of you. (Mark 16:15)
- Continual reassessment helps see The Danger of Routine and Habit in Our Prayer Lives. Every area of life benefits from regular assessment. Check with the Holy Spirit daily in prayer and make a point perform regular personal assessments.
One final connection between vision therapy for the eyes and spiritual vision therapy lies with the power of choice. Individuals must decide whether or not to participate in the recommended therapy. The eye doctor makes the vision therapy plan clear. God also makes the plan of action clear for preventing spiritual vision problems. Both require commitment and follow through vision to improve.
Subscribe to Struggle to Victory by Email or Subscribe in a reader