Decision Making

Many of us are overwhelmed by all the decisions we have to make day after day. Because that is often the case for me, I’ve written a lot about decision fatigue:

Let’s now take a different perspective on decision making by looking at “Why It’s Easier To Make Decisions For Someone Else.” Consider these results from a study completed by two Chinese researchers.

A couple of points of application come to mind for me when considering the results of this study.

  1. We’re harder on ourselves than on other people.
  2. We struggle looking at our own options in a positive way.
  3. We remember our failures too quickly.
  4. Perhaps we need to pull back on the risks we’re willing to let others take.
  5. We could consider being more adventurous in decisions for ourselves.

Though I never thought about it before, the study is ultimately right. Making decisions for other people is somehow easier than it is for myself. Maybe that’s the way it should be though. After all…

  • We don’t actually make decisions for others. We just encourage them in a certain direction.
  • We live more intimately with our own decisions than with the decisions others make.

I’m not sure where to go with these realizations, but I don’t want to ignore the chord they struck in me either. Your thoughts?

When Trust Is Broken

You will let others down. Others will disappoint you too. Though it happens in varying degrees, broken trust is inevitable because we are human.

When it happens, three actions on your part – regardless of the depth of broken trust or your role in it – serves toward the goal of restoration.

1. Trust God – He won’t let you down. Only he is completely trustworthy.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.”

(Psalm 118:8)

2. Forgive – Trust cannot be rebuilt without forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision; the feelings come later. There’s also no set number of times to forgive.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (Matthew 18:21-22)

3. Be trustworthy – You cannot control others. You can only control yourself, and even self-control is often difficult. No matter what, choose to be trustworthy.

“Better the poor whose walk is blameless than the rich whose ways are perverse.” (Proverbs 28:6)

Broken trust is painful. Forgiveness does not always make sense. It usually does not make the pain go away right away either. Yet, the Bible tells us forgiveness is the path to take, and God promises to direct us through it all.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Become Effective By Being Selective

In The Purpose Driven Life, Day 3, Rick Warren begins by asking this question:

“What drives your life?”

In the discussion, Warren talks about “quiet desperation” and “aimless distraction.” All of us can probably describe what each of those means and be able to give examples of what they look like within our own lives.

Each of us also knows how these really mean that we’ve lost focus on what drives our lives. A truly frustrating state of mind, to be sure.

While we could look at this topic from a variety of angles, let’s focus on only one. In Warren’s words…

“You become effective by being selective.”

Taking on too much. Worrying. Being too busy. People pleasing. Mediocrity. Following feelings. Seeking acceptance from the world. Approval seeking. Making comparisons.

That’s my list. It’s what overwhelms me if I’m not selective. If I fail to focus and instead follow fads and feelings, I’m not at all effective. Instead, I’m depressed and frustrated, all because I’m not being selective.

Being selective means choosing best over good enough. It means pursuing expertise instead of being a generalist. Most important, for Christians being selective means letting God decide who, what, when, where, why and how.

How does this happen?

God’s word to Joshua when he was likely feeling overwhelmed be being thrust into leadership and given an overwhelming task to accomplish gives us the instruction we need.

“Keep the law always on your lips. Meditate on it day and night, careful to do everything it says. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Joshua 1:8)

For the Christian, then, being selective means:

  1. Knowing God’s Word fully.
  2. Studying God’s Word continually.
  3. Obeying God’s Word completely.
  4. Leaving the results up to God.

Being selective involves walking a God-directed path. We can only know the steps to take, though, if we know God’s directions. Only then will we be effective in truly eternal ways.

Enhanced Personality

“Surrendering to God doesn’t repress your personality, it enhances it.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

Enhancing something means raising it and amplifying it. It means improving it in value, quality and attractiveness.

That’s what God does with our personalities, the uniqueness he gave each of us, when we make Jesus Lord. For this enhancement to be fully active in our lives, we must realize what surrender means and why it’s important.

Surrender to God means giving up control of our lives to Him. It means seeking to know and do his will.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

It also means we trust him to do what is best for us.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)

God desires unity, not uniformity. He wants each of us to operate in the unique combination of gifts and abilities he’s given us. In our uniqueness, then, unity and success of the body as a whole happens.

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body – whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free – and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.” (1 Corinthians 12:12-14)