Building & Establishing Trust

TrustWhen we firmly establish our source of trust in Christ, as we discussed in How Do We Live Out Trust? and Where Should You Place Your Trust?, we can now move on to the activity of trust within imperfect relationships. This activity of building & establishing trust in relationships begins with first living a trustworthy life.

Living Trustworthy Lives

Only when we live trustworthy lives grounded in the One who is perfectly trustworthy can we then begin to build trust in our relationships. That happens when we consistently practice the following:

  1. Focus on pleasing God not people. (1 Thessalonians 2:4)
  2. Determine to be trustworthy with the Gospel. (1 Thessalonians 2:4)
  3. Rely on the Holy Spirit. (2 Timothy 1:14)
  4. Be dependable at work and at home. (Proverbs 31:10-11; Titus 2:10)
  5. Learn from those proven trustworthy, though not perfect. (Moses, Nehemiah, Daniel & Timothy)

Since our trust lies rooted in God, we must purpose to show that we truly trust Him as we move forward in establishing trustworthy character. When trust is secure within us, rooted and grounded in that which cannot be taken from us, we can then move on to building trust with others.

Trusting in Those Who Fail

Before moving on to how to build trust, we must address the struggle of trusting those who fail. We build trust in new relationships, and that takes a lot of work too, but it’s the building of trust with those who failed us — who broke trust — that usually provides the more difficult challenge.

I want to trust others after they’ve hurt me, but I struggle getting their breach of trust out of my thoughts sometimes. The easiest way I’ve found to not think about it, or at least to think about it less, is to avoid the person. Yet, not only is that not always possible, it doesn’t line up with Scripture.

So, I must do the tough work of choosing to trust those who fail me simply because I know it pleases God. That’s where my relationship with Him — where my trust being established in Him — becomes crucial. Because there’s no way I can trust those who have failed me if they are the source of my ability to trust.

Trust quotes

Examples of Reestablishing Trust

For me, hearing about stories of trust helps me better understand how to reestablish it in my own life. And what better examples than those found in Scripture.

  • God trusted Jonah despite previous disappointment (Jonah 3:1-2). Jonah ultimately comes through, but he never really gets the point God is making. (See God is a God of Second Chances for more on this.)
  • Jesus reinstated Peter after his predicted denial (John 21:15). Not only did He reinstate him, but Jesus trusted Him with tremendous responsibility in the spread of the Gospel.
  • Barnabas gave John Mark a second chance. Paul disagreed with doing so, but Barnabas extended opportunity for trust again (Acts 15:37-39).

Ultimately, we choose to trust others because we know that trust exists at the heart of relationships. God trusts humans with tasks purposed for His will because He desires relational partnering. Because He trusts in this way, knowing He’ll be let down, we too can continue working to build trust even with those who have and likely will again let us down.

DISCUSSION: How does God’s example of trusting others inspire you to do the same even in light of broken trust?

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Interview with The Precipice Author, TC Avey

For the month of April, Struggle to Victory is focusing on virtual influences by featuring guest posts, by guest posting on other sites, and by highlighting some of the regular visitors to this blog. Hopefully, you’ll be encouraged, strengthened & challenged by these people as much as I have on a regular basis, people I am proud to say have an impact on my thinking in ways that matter eternally.

THE PRECIPICE_coverToday’s post brings you an interview with author of The Precipice: When Everything We Know Ends, TC Avey.

TC Avey is a Christian devoted to God, family and friends. She is passionate about encouraging Christians to live lives dedicated to Christ as well as to helping them understand the importance of preserving our national freedoms through knowledge and love. She blogs at Wisdom of a Fool. You can also follow her on Twitter. Her book, The Precipice: When Everything We Know Ends, is NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon.

 

Why did you write The Precipice?

I love History and Current Events. In 2008 God began changing the way I view both. I can no longer read history, or news stories, and not see God. While God is a gentlemen and won’t force anyone to believe in Him, He can be seen everywhere. From the dawn of time, He’s been calling out to His creation, longing for a relationship. Far too often people explain Him away with science, logic, nature, or as coincidence.

I wrote this book to help people see God in the world around them. He is speaking to us through so many different venues, but sadly many of us aren’t listening. If we aren’t reading His Word, if we aren’t engaged in what is transpiring in the world, we can’t be effective witnesses of His. And we certainly won’t be the prepared bridesmaids (Matthew 25:1-13) He is looking for upon His return.

Do you think your book evokes fear in people?

I hope it doesn’t, but I can’t control how people respond after reading my book. Here’s something that’s sure to offend some: I think how a reader responds to this book tells more about that person’s relationship with Christ than it does about my book.

My book isn’t meant to inspire fear, but motivation. Motivation to build one’s life upon the Rock. Motivation to have one’s trust completely founded upon Christ and not foolishly placed in worldly goods, conveniences or governments. Motivation to seek God with all their heart, soul, mind and spirit.

I also hope it inspires people to become more aware of Current Events. To be active in our how world is being shaped.

People have more control over what is transpiring in this world than what they take. But having control means being responsible, responsible to Christ and responsible to others.

One of my favorite quotes by Dietrich Bonhoeffer is…

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”

There is great evil and great good in this world. Which side will you stand on?

Is there hope that the tides can change?

YES! 2 Chronicles 7:14 says,

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

God doesn’t lie. Therefore, we can have confidence that if we do our part, He will do His. (Again, we have to be individually accountable and responsible.)

Throughout history people have thought it was “the end”…and here we are. No one knows the hour of Christ’s return.

While Matthew 24 (and other places in the Bible) gives us clues to look for, there’s no formula we can use as a countdown to His return.

The best we can do is live is each day as if it is our last and make each moment count.

What advice do you have for those who are scared of end times and/or modern events?

Draw closer to God. Seek Him in His Word. He will give you revelation, peace, and whatever it is your heart needs. He created you, only He can satisfy what’s going on inside. We must stop looking to others for spiritual nourishment or solutions to our problems. Yes, others can help, but they shouldn’t be our source.

Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. Learn to trust Him by getting to know Him. That takes daily commitment. And remember,

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18, NIV)

Christ is that perfect love. Remain in Him, IN the Vine. (John 15) Let His love and work on the cross perfect and settle you.

DISCUSSION: How do you react when you hear of end time events playing out in the news? What other questions do you have for TC about The Precipice, end time events or any other topic?

NOTE: If you purchase The Precipice in its first week of publication on Amazon, you will also receive a BONUS PACKAGE if you email your receipt to the author BEFORE APRIL 14TH.

Thinking on Words

A friend recently said she planned on “wafing” at work the next day. At first, her word left me floundering to understand her meaning. But when I thought more about my friend and her approach to work, I somehow knew what she meant. The relationship created the meaning necessary to understand her words.

My friend also said that putting the word in quotes made it okay to use even though it is not a word. If that’s the case, then a lot of words need quotation marks.

Our conversation got me thinking about how people in general use words, both intentionally and unintentionally, how we create the meaning of the words we use, both real and made up, as well as the impact of relationship on the meaning of our words.

So, strap in, hold on, and journey into my thought process on the topic of words.

Words

Did you realize“unforgiveness” isn’t really a word? Not in my dictionary, anyway. “Impactful” isn’t either. Kind of disappointed since I use those words often.

Technically, adding “un” before “forgiveness” means taking back or undoing forgiveness. A very “churchy” (yes, another non-word) word, the assumed meaning of “unforgiveness” involves not forgiving or refusing to forgive, not so much an undoing of forgiveness given because of it not actually being given in the first place.

Impactful,”used to portray major impact or effect, is actually in some “online” dictionaries, but it’s not an official word according to Dictionary.com. And anyway, why not just use influential or effective? Unfortunately, I’ve used “impactful” so much over the years that I naturally think of it when describing something with great impact.

How many other words do I use frequently that don’t actually exist?

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People constantly make up words. Some eventually become official words. (I’m still not over “ain’t” officially becoming a word.) Don’t we have enough words? Are we just too lazy to learn the ones we already have, so we make up new ones instead? Isn’t that kind of like being unable to find that thing you know you have somewhere, so you buy a new one instead of taking the time and making the effort to look for it?

Marketers, Tweeters (technically a real word) and “Facebookers” make up words all the time. Where do you think the Word of the Year “selfie” came from? (In case you’re wondering, second place went to “twerking.” Sorry, Miley!)

Ginormous” and “bestie” were also spawned “online” with “selfie.” The word “ginormous” combines gigantic and enormous, related synonymously, so why not just use one of the legitimate words? Can something truly be so gigantic and enormous that it needs both words to be described? Once something reaches enormous, does it need to be more? Or, is this simply our human tendency to add dramatic flare to everything?

Maybe my obsessive need to eliminate the little squiggly line under words creates an over-sensitivity to word choice. Or maybe my frustration over increasing laziness with the words we speak, over taking the time to communicate clearly and accurately, creates a need to consider the details of the words I use and the intentions behind them.

Words5

Take a minute to think about the words you use. Actually, think about how much you actually think about your words. Or, do you just let the words come forth without giving them much thought?

Scripture says a lot about using care with our words, and taking the time to consider these instructions strengthens character and relationships by bringing greater awareness to the fact that the words we speak – as well as how, when & why we speak them – reflect the atmosphere of the inner self with striking accuracy.

In January, we will look at how what we say, the way we say it and when we say it holds tremendous impact. In addition, we’ll look at how who says something matters along with the impact of the amount of words we speak (how much we say or don’t say). Finally, we’ll also look at the value of controlling our words along with ideas on how to incorporate this aspect of self control into the details of our lives.

DISCUSS: Take me on a journey into your thoughts on the use of words. Tell me what you think a detailed focus on this topic should include.

Details… Details… Details

Details 1

Details 3

What do you think of my word choice for 2014?
What should a focus on “Details” include?

What about you? What goals are you setting for 2014?
What focus do you have for the coming year?