What’s Your Wow?

My oldest son graduated high school this year. His graduation ceremony was pretty typical. The speeches were mostly what you’d expect, with one exception.

The high school principal gave a brief yet inspirational speech. She told about unusual job interview questions that sought to get a an applicant’s unique perspective. She emphasized one question in particular.

“What’s your wow? What makes you stand out?”

We had a good family discussion using this and the other questions she asked. Doing so challenged each of us to consider our strengths and weaknesses and to look at ways we could each change and grow.

Wow Factor

Days later, I still found myself mulling over the discussion, especially the “What’s your wow?” question. I realized that God has give me many gifts and abilities, as he has everyone, that help me to stand out. Really, he created everyone to have a wow factor.

While each of these gifts and abilities allow us tangible ways to visibly express this factor, they aren’t THE wow. So what is?

If you’re a Christian, your “wow” is Christ in you. His Holy Spirit within you creates an unmatchable wow factor.

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

I’m excited for my son’s future. He’s a godly young man, and the “wow” of Christ shines in him. I’m also excited for my own future because of Christ in me, because of the wow factor he continually cultivates in me. Can you say the same?

Shipwrecked Faith, Part 1

What causes most shipwrecks?

Shipwrecks are usually caused by one of many reasons. The most common are poor design, instability, navigational errors, weather, warfare, effects of age, improper operation, fire/explosion, equipment failure and intentional causes.

Shipwrecks also happen simply because the captain failed to believe it could happen. He simply ignored the warning signs or was just in too much of a hurry to see them.

Most shipwrecks do not happen in open water but in sight of the shoreline. The majority take place after the ship runs aground on a sandbar, coral reef, rocks or another wreck.

There are a lot of ways to avoid shipwreck, most specifically tied to awareness and diligence. Knowing where and where not to sail a ship is certainly a big key. Another is having a proper ballast since the ballast balances a ship and allows it to move smoothly through the water.

The causes and prevention of shipwrecks transfer easily to our faith life, mostly because of the connections Paul made to them.

What is a shipwrecked faith?

Paul was very familiar with shipwrecks. He personally experienced three of them along with a day and a night “in the deep” (2 Corinthians 11:25). His experiences allowed him to use related terminology to help us better understand living out our faith.

“This command I entrust to you, Timothy, my son, in accordance with the prophecies previously made concerning you, so that [inspired and aided] by them you may fight the good fight [in contending with false teachers], keeping your faith [leaning completely on God with absolute trust and confidence in His guidance] and having a good conscience; for some [people] have rejected [their moral compass] and have made a shipwreck of their faith.” (1 Timothy 1:18-19, AMP)

Paul begins this letter to Timothy by warning him against false doctrines and myths. He charges Timothy to remain true to sound doctrine that confirms the Gospel. Paul also gives examples of two individuals who failed to do this and as a result shipwrecked their faith.

When we have faith in the Gospel, we lean on God with complete trust and confidence to guide us where he wants us to go. A shipwrecked faith, then, is a faith that has veered off that course and run aground. It’s a faith that drifted away from the truth of the Gospel and was broken apart by relentless waves.

The word “rejected” that Paul used is a nautical term that means “thrown overboard.” In other words, they made a choice to reject the faith and drift away from the truth of the Gospel. They are Christians who knew the truth of the Gospel and how it directs us to live, but they made choices that cause them to drift away and veer off course.

No One Is Immune to a Shipwrecked Faith

Any good ship captain realizes shipwreck is always a possibility. Likewise, every Christian must realize the real and constant pressure to live contrary to the the Gospel, to righteousness.  Not only is this Paul’s warning to Timothy, but life attests to this harsh reality for us as well.

  • Church leaders who become Sunday only pew sitters and some who no longer even attend church.
  • Rebellious teenagers who once loved and served God and were active in church.
  • A friend who says, “I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I know God will forgive me.”
  • A family member who wants to live like his friends who said, “This faith thing just isn’t working for me.”
  • Another friend who said, “How can I believe in a god who let my friend die?”
  • Paul’s own shipwrecked faith. (Acts 9)

While stories of others shipwrecked faith testifies to the truth of what Paul says in 1 Timothy, none anchor it better for me than my own story of a shipwrecked faith.

What about you? Has your own faith gone adrift or even been shipwrecked because you made choices that gradually got you off course?

In every case, a person with a shipwrecked faith — or one drifting that way — followed something contrary to Scripture. We followed a “truth” based on the world, the flesh or Satan that directed us away from how the Gospel of Jesus directs us to live.

Don’t give up hope! Return to the Gospel. Begin with this freeing truth.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)

In Shipwrecked Faith, Part 2, we look at how to avoid a shipwrecked faith and what to do if your faith is already shipwrecked.

Knowing God’s Will

Beyond the Basics

Growing up, I thought of God as a distant ruler, kind of like a Gamemaker. I knew his word gave instructions for how to live life how he desired, but I failed to see beyond basic right and wrong.

Over the years, he’s shown me that he desires so much more than a life of basics.

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10b)

A life beyond the basics involves knowing God’s will in an increasingly intimate way. God wants us to know his will. What a powerful revelation! He wants us to know what he wants of us.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

God gives us these instructions, so we can know his desires. As we chose to follow him over the world — our culture — and as we allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us, our thinking is renewed. This renewal brings discernment, which simply means we show good or outstanding judgment and understanding of what God desires.

Knowing God’s Will Takes Effort

Read Romans 12:2, above, again. Do you see the effort — the testing — required to know God’s will?

When we put forth this effort, we confirm our choice to make following him a priority. Actually, we make him THE priority of our lives. In essence, we acknowledge the importance of knowing God’s will.

“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35)

Knowing God’s will is important because it means we’re part of his family. Being part of the family of God is the starting point for knowing God’s will.

Begin With the Gospel

While our efforts do matter and significantly impact our knowing God’s will, they in no way earn anything for us. They simply reflect our choice to make Jesus Lord and Savior.

Knowing God starts with Jesus. Repenting of sin and trusting Christ as Lord and Savior is the only door leading to knowing God’s will.

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.’” (John 14:6)

If you want to know God’s will, open the door. Pursue Jesus. Choose to follow him over the world. Be led by his Holy Spirit, and let your mind be renewed.

With Jesus as Lord of your life, with the price for your redemption paid by his blood, you can move fully and confidently into the activity of knowing God’s will.

Full Commitment

Cultural Commitment

Ask almost anyone over the age of 60 about commitment, and they’ll tell of a time when, “Your word was your bond.” If asked, they’ll explain that if a person said he would do something, he could be counted on to do it. Sure, there were those who did not follow through, but they were the exception.

Today’s culture looks very different. A person’s word is rarely fully trusted even when it is actually fully trustworthy.

In a culture where selfishness and greed seem to dominate, a fog of mistrust covers almost every relationship at least to some degree. Unfortunately, that’s because not keeping a commitment is almost acceptable, or at least not protested much.

Instead of accepting this cultural trend, let’s build trust in a way that can be a catalyst for change. Let’s be examples of trustworthy commitment with regard to work, family and faith.

Work Commitment

For children and teens, work means their effort in sports and school. For adults, commitment to work may involve a job, but it includes other areas like volunteering too.

Commitment to work, really, means fully giving the effort needed to accomplish a task to the best of one’s ability. It involves the following core principles:

  • Do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it.
  • Do what you know is right. You only control yourself and no one else.

Be someone others can depend upon regardless of whether or not others are reliable.

Family Commitment

Family commitment revolves more around connection than activity. In fact, over-commitment to activity actually works against connection.

Commitment to family involves letting go of self and entering into a habitual preferring of others not out of obligation but out of love. It also means bringing the best of yourself to every situation.

Commitment to family also involves placing a spouse above others (yes, even kids). Remember, this is the one earthly relationship that most closely relates to the relationship we are to have with Christ.

Faith Commitment

Commitment to faith in Christ surrounds and permeates all other areas of commitment. How a person commits to the call of Christ on their life determines how commitment exists in every other area, including family and work.

We also must remember that faith is not yet another commitment to be balanced. Instead, faith in Christ is the scale that balances all other areas.

Consider the following when evaluating your commitment to Christ. How do your answers reflect your commitment in all areas of life?

  • Are you willing and ready to arise and be His voice, whatever and wherever?
  • Has Christ won your heart? If He truly has, are you running after Him and following His lead?
  • Would you lay down your life for Christ? What are you willing to sacrifice for Him?
  • Have you committed fully to the Lord? Are you allowing Him to pour you out as He sees fit?
  • How has Christ’s love changed you? Will you go and be where He wants? Do what He wants?
  • Will you follow the path He chooses and leads you down?

Answering these questions not only determines how your commitment plays out in the areas of faith, work and family, but it also determines the character with which you live your whole life.

Complete Commitment

We live in a culture where keeping commitments seems optional more often than not. However, while we are in this culture, we don’t have to be of this culture.

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” (John 15:19)

As we commit more fully to Christ and increasingly give our lives to Him, commitments in other areas of our lives become more complete too. While we may live in a culture where selfishness is rampant, we must continually remind ourselves that we do not belong to the world. We belong to a Savior who deserves our complete and total commitment.

 

Reset. Focus. Prioritize. Encourage.

Reset

When anyone’s cell phone seems to “glitch” as my oldest son calls it, my husband immediately says, “Did you turn it off and back on?” He knows that will reset the phone and usually result in a return to normal functioning.

In computer terms, a reset clears pending errors or events and brings a system to a normal or initial state condition, usually in a controlled manner. (Reset (Computing), Wikipedia)

Recently, I found myself reviewing the basics in every area of my life. A significant life trial has turned me back to the foundations of my operating system. I can’t exactly turn my whole life off and then back on again, but I can return to the basics in a way that sort of works like a system reset.

Focus

Every trial over the past 7 years has brought me back to a truth the Holy Spirit revealed to me when I entered what I call the beginning of the end of depression’s hold in my life.

“Do not remember the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

This verse serves to refocus me on what God is doing and is going to do. Yes, we need to remember what He’s done for us, but only in a way that reminds us of what He will do for us.

Prioritize

When life gets overwhelming (busyness, concern for loved ones, hard times financially, etc.) the basics provide stability. They exist as automatic priorities that can remain consistent even when all else seems unstable and falling apart.

For me, prioritizing involves letting three simple truths keep my mindset focused on what God desires.

As God reminds me of the power I am yet to see Him display, I return to these truths knowing they are guiding principles to give my life stability. All the details of my life flow through these basics.

Encourage

Let the basics guide and direct you. They provide a foundation on which you can build and move forward, and they can encourage you when you feel defeated. The basics provide a system reset that might not erase the trials you need to endure, but they will allow you to operate from a place of stability.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Even though I don’t fully understand why these basics serve to encourage me so much, especially during really tough trials, I choose to trust in the future God has planned.

Because he has faithfully brought me through so many trials already, I know he will do so again. Because he has done the impossible over and over again in my life, I wait for the impossible to spring forth again.

Be Still & Know

Be Still

In high school, I stepped between two girls getting ready to fight one another. One was my friend. I don’t remember the other girl. With fist raised and poised to fire, my friend  would hit me if she let it fly. Instead, she looked me in the eyes and said, “Only because it’s you.” Then she walked away.

In Psalm 46:10, the “be still” phrase gets at stopping this same sort of activity. The original word — rapa — means to “slacken, let down, cease.” It’s used in the sense of someone stepping between two warriors in battle and telling them to stop fighting, to stop their frantic activity.

So, the idea to “be still” goes beyond just taking a little time to relax. Beyond stopping the frantic pace, acknowledgment of the pointlessness of the activity is also important. In other words, we must stop and realize that our frantic activity will not produce any positive outcome.

Are you Frantic?

Frantic is one of those words that sounds ridiculous the more you say it. And when you consider all of what it means, it’s equally absurd to live in that state.

Frantic (adj.): desperate or wild with excitement, passion, fear, pain, etc.; frenzied

Interestingly, Jesus’ parents were once frantic in their search for him.

“His parents didn’t know what to think. ‘Son,’ his mother said to him, ‘why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been frantic, searching for you everywhere.’” (Luke 2:48)

I find comfort knowing that the mother and father entrusted to raise the Son of God were also frantic parents at times. Makes my sometimes frantic parenting seem a little less unreasonable.

Of course, we have plenty in our lives beyond parenting that can make us frantic… Cleaning the house like crazy to get ready for guests. Scrambling madly at the end of the quarter to meet quota. Racing from one task to the next hoping to be somewhere on time once in a while. We’ve all felt frantic at some point, and I’m guessing no one really enjoys it.

Mental Time Out

While we can’t always avoid being frantic — though we often can with some planning and simplifying — we can choose to not live in it. We can choose to not let it be our standard mode of operation. To do so, however, we must intentionally cease and decide to “be still.”

In the broadest sense, this means we need mental time outs. Especially in the busiest times of life, we need mental down time. Our brains need periods where they don’t actively focus or engage and can just wander. In fact…

“Time off is what your brain thrives on.” (Shape Magazine / March 2017)

What’s more, our bodies usually give us signs that we need this time off.

  • Can’t think straight
  • Under-accomplishing
  • Forgetful
  • Making mistakes

Again, we all have moments where these happen, but we need to pay attention when patterns emerge, when we begin to dwell there. After all, we can reap some pretty amazing benefits if we allow ourselves to “be still” on a regular basis.

“After you take a mental time-out, you’re better at creative thinking and coming up with clever ideas and solutions.” (Shape Magazine / March 2017)

& Know

Looking at that start of Psalm 46:10 again, but this time in several versions, helps draw out this idea of down time or time outs.

“Be still…” (ESV)

“Cease striving…” (NASB)

“Stop your fighting…(Holman)

“Be in awe…” (ISV)

“Let go [of your concerns]!” (God’s WORD ®)

“Let be…” (JPS Tanakh 1917)

Long before research proved we needed time to reflect and sort things out mentally, God told us as much. And while the mental experts say to let our minds wander, God’s word gives further instruction as to how to truly give our minds the crucial rest they need. We find the answer in the second part of the “be still” phrase that begins Psalm 46:10.

“…and know that I am God.”

What does knowing God is God do for our efforts to stop the frantic in our lives? Matthew Henry tells us in his commentary on Psalm 46:6-11:

“This shows the perfect security of the church, and is an assurance of lasting peace… in silent submission let us worship and trust our almighty Sovereign. Let all believers triumph in this, that the Lord of hosts… has been, is and will be with us; and will be our refuge. Mark this, take the comfort and say, ‘If God be for us, who can be against us? With this, through life and I death, let us answer every fear.”

This hits home because, truly, what is the source of our frantic activity? Fear. Fear of not doing, being, saying, making and creating enough.

I’m not sure how this exactly plays out in your life, but I know for me having God as my constant stability gives me what I need to “be still” even as life races on around me. Sure, some days are more difficult than others, but I know that going to that still place where I know God is God keeps the frantic from consuming me.

Awareness of Trust

Awareness of Trust

Seems like trust always stays in our awareness in some form. From trust with the media and politicians to trusting with friends and family, it’s something we don’t give a lot of thought to until it’s damaged in some way.

Paul J. Zak in The Neuroscience of Trust, says this regarding trust in the workplace:

“In my research I’ve found that building a culture of trust is what makes a meaningful difference. Employees in high-trust organizations are more productive, have more energy at work, collaborate better with their colleagues, and stay with their employers longer than people working at low-trust companies. They also suffer less chronic stress and are happier with their lives, and these factors fuel stronger performance.”

Zak’s assessment of trust in the workplace seems to fit well with trust everywhere else too. Trust increases the good in our lives, especially with regard to our relationships.

Over the years, I’ve given a good deal of attention to the topic of trust. I thought it was time to bring all of those posts together into one place for anyone wanting to delve into how trust exists in their own lives.

I trust these posts will help you in your efforts to increase the happiness and decrease the stress in your life as you work toward greater trust in your relationships.

Should Assertiveness be Your Goal?

Feel Like a Doormat?

Ever made plans, got organized and fully prepared to follow through, only to have them changed by someone who already agreed to those plans? Do the same people seem to do this to you often?

What about making plans only to having someone who isn’t a part of those plans insist you change them to accommodate their plans, preferences and desires? Do your plans often seem less important?

Perhaps you usually keep your plans, preferences and desires to yourself because you fear others might not listen or will get offended because you don’t agree with what they want. You feel others simply don’t value what’s important to you.

When these types of situations happen and you fold to others once again, do you wonder if you are simply a doormat? Do you think you’re always taken advantage of by others because you don’t speak up for yourself? Maybe you’ve just decided you’re simply a pushover, and that’s your lot in life because you’re afraid to speak up for fear of hurting people you care about.

The problem for you could even be that you believe “turn the other cheek” as well as “walk the second mile” (Matthew 5:38-42) mean you should always give in to the plans, preferences and desires of others and disregard your own. Plus, Scripture talks so much about humility — thinking of yourself less — and you really want to live this out.

Should Assertiveness be Your Goal?

At times, maybe you decide you’ve had enough, and you’re going to become more assertive. You’re tired of being walked on and don’t want to put up with it anymore, not even from those closest to you. So, you decide to become more assertive.

Even though you’ve made this goal, you still fear becoming assertive because you don’t want to seem aggressive and selfish. You also don’t want to offend others. Plus, maybe you just don’t have an outgoing personality that seems to support assertiveness.

Mixed in with all of this is knowing that the way you feel now isn’t what God desires either. You don’t believe he meant for you to feel overlooked all the time. He doesn’t give you ideas and desires only to have them continually disregarded, right?

Maybe assertiveness is the right approach. After all, everyone thinks assertiveness is good, right? At the same time, it just doesn’t feel quite right for some people. What is the right choice?

Focus Determines Reality

Assertiveness certainly shows up in Scripture. In fact, Jesus often showed a confident aggression. For a couple of examples, read about how he talked to the pharisees in Matthew 23:13-36 and about how he showed is  anger in the temple courts in Matthew 21:12-13. Jesus definitely sets an example of assertiveness.

The second part of the definition of assertiveness, the “self assured” part, hangs me up though. Scripture just doesn’t support basing your confidence in yourself (Philippians 3:3), which is where assertiveness places the focus. Instead, as we focus on Christ and who He is, we better see how to assert confidence that comes from who He is and what He has done for us.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” (Psalm 37:4-6)

With that truth in hand, the goal really then focuses on becoming Christ-like, not being assertive. Being Christ-like means committing your ways to him and trusting him to work in your life instead of relying on your own efforts. It may involve assertiveness, but it does not make it the ultimate goal.

We’ll look at how to Make Becoming Christ-Like Your Goal in next week’s post.

Learn To Single-Task Again

tolkein-bread-quoteIn 2010, I crashed and burned mentally. The official diagnosis involved adrenal fatigue, and many factors led to my state of exhaustion.

One of the biggest involved having too many commitments and going in too many directions. A constantly-divided focus led to a state of overwhelm and overload.

To recover and heal, I gave up a lot of poor habits and replaced them with healthier ones. That’s the only way to really heal from adrenal fatigue.

One area needing a major overhaul involved my belief in multitasking as an operating system. The Toxic Impact of Multitasking needed eliminated. Its replacement? Learning to single-task again.

The Brain’s Desire

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Our brains want to think deeply and creatively. As any multi-tasker knows, neither is possible with any consistency when your brain tries to focus on a multitude of different tasks at the same time. Instead, we end up reacting to life and living only a surface-level existence.

But, as Sandra Bond Chapman, Ph.D., tells Forbes, with concerted effort…

Anyone can leave the “chaotic addiction of multitasking behind” and see “immediate and immense” benefits as well as an increase in creativity, energy and focus.

I’m living proof of this truth.

Single Tasking Habits

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In addition to recommending adequate rest and exercise, Chapman gives three steps to reestablish single-tasking as a habit.

  1. Give your brain down time. Build in breaks throughout your day, and be sure to take at least a yearly extended break (called a vacation in case it’s been so long you forgot). Like a muscle, our brains need time to rest and recuperate. Ever feel like you make poorer decisions as the day goes on? We must choose to combat Decision Fatigue if we have any hope of not falling prey to its talons of dumb… bad… stupid… decisions.
  2. Focus deeply & eliminate distractions. Just like a person can’t go from couch to 5k instantly, deep focus needs worked up to as well. I certainly recognize that distractions find us all too easily. But with practice, we can develop the ability to focus deeply and attract fewer distractions. The more you reduce multitasking, the more you’ll excel at focusing.
  3. Make a to-do list. A to-do list kept a crash and burn at bay for many years and keeps me from regressing more often still today. Not only a tool to promote focus, a to-do list is also a terrific way to track progress. Remember too that you’ll get better at making and using to-do lists as you perfect what works best for you.

Commit to Change

Make a choice to break your multitasking addiction and instead to work toward a singe-tasking life. Be stubbornly determined to do so. Once the benefits begin, your belief in what Chapman claims and what my own experiences show, will increase.

As with any change, commit to it to make it work. Alter daily habits and admit that the way you’re working now isn’t the best option and that maybe you can trust the example of those who have gone before you on this journey.

A Glimpse of Infinite Power

Horses Grazing Religious Worship Background

Throughout history, men have placed their trust and even their very lives in the hooves of horses. The unique qualities and abilities found in horses are why they went first into battle and why thousands flock to see them race throughout the United States. Horses have a way of capturing our hearts and minds unlike any other animal.

Horses allow us to be a part of their worlds, too, even have dominion over them. They allow us to direct and teach them and to use them for our own benefit and gain.
Because of the role horses have played throughout our history, the comparison made in Psalm 20:7 holds tremendous significance for helping us better understand God’s power in our lives.

“Some boast (praise; trust; are strong through) in chariots and some in horses, but we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.”

In King David’s day when he wrote the Psalm, many opposing countries conquered through the strength of their war chariots, and they wrought fear in whatever people they faced for this reason. The Israelites, under David’s leadership, chose instead to focus on the name of the Lord, a power infinitely beyond any other, and He came through time and time again.

Horses always give an imposing show. Even when grazing in the cool morning on dew-laden grass, their peaceful beauty speaks of a strength almost beyond measure. Yet, they’re weak in comparison to the power of the almighty God.

Instead of the comparison diminishing horses in any way, it actually works to expand my view of the strength of the Lord and make the power of the invisible God, the Creator of horses and humans alike, more visible. When I read and watch stories about tremendous horses like Seabiscuit, I am once again in awe of my Lord simply by glimpsing Him thorough one of His most magnificent creations.

This post was inspired by the book Seabiscuit by Laura Hildebrand.