Further Up and Further In
My deep need for God has changed over the years. It used to be a need for rescue from the pit of depression. It’s been physical need, need for connection, and need to reach another in the pit. Now, it’s a deep need to be and do more than I am, to fully know and live in God’s will for my life.
Deep calls to deep. My deep need is met by God’s deep supply. His vast fulness meets my emptiness every time, and he continues to pull me deeper — further up and further in — into awareness of him.
“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now… Come further up, come further in!” (The Last Battle by ).
Salvation won by Christ pulled me from the depths of sin. His mercy fuels my hope as I wait like a watchman for his abundant redemption to deepen and spread in this fallen world.
“Out of the depths I have cried to You, Lord. Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the sound of my pleadings. If You, Lord, were to keep account of guilty deeds, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, so that You may be revered. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and I wait for His word. My soul waits in hope for the Lord more than the watchmen for the morning; Yes, more than the watchmen for the morning. Israel, wait for the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his guilty deeds.” (Psalm 130)
To get back on track with God’s will, Jonah was cast into the “deep” and stayed there for three days. Jonah’s time within the abyss of the sea is later used to describe Jesus’ coming journey into the abyss of death (Matthew 12:38-42). The depths God is willing to go to get me back on track continues to astound me.
From the pit of depression and times of lost hope when overwhelm surrounded me, I cried out to God to “save me.” Because of salvation and because of the depths God is willing to go for me, I trust him to keep me from drowning in the overwhelm that seeks to pull me in. Instead, I am overwhelmed by a God who hears my voice and journeyed to the abyss of death for me.
“Save me, God, for the waters have threatened my life. I have sunk in deep mud, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me.” (Psalm 69:1-2)
Deep Calls to Deep
The deepness of my need still longs for the deepness of his supply even as he fills me because the depths of his supply calls to the depths of the need I don’t even yet know I have. As my longing grows, his supply increases. As my awareness of his supply increases, my longing grows.
“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”
(Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis)