Sometimes life takes hold of us, and we get caught in the current of nonstop achievement. Sometimes it’s an undertow that takes us to unexpected and overwhelming places. Careers. Families. Illness. Serving. Helping. Sometimes distractions feel like an escape but end up as addictions that change the way we think, learn, and remember. Substances. Habits. Technology.

Most likely, a combination of things and goals and mindsets take us to an unexpected destination, and we one day look around and ask no one in particular, “How did I get here?” In midlife, this is usually followed by, “Life did not turn out how I expected or planned.” Maybe you’ve tried to undo this reality by redoing, but I’ve never found attempts at reversals to be useful.

As I reflect on this reality, I wonder how to regain a sense of stability even also while realizing life itself is always somewhat unstable. Stability within instability. Constancy within the unexpected.

Connecting

Reconnecting, whether with people or places or activities, often creates a path for finding what I’m looking for. This reconnecting brings me to a place – mentally, physically, spiritually, and/or socially – where I can say, “It’s been a while, but it’s good to be here again.” Reconnecting can feel awkward. You may have to work through feelings of regret and guilt. I did. Discovering newness through reconnecting is worth walking through the discomfort, though.

Reach out to that friend or family member. Go back to that place filled with so many memories. Try that hobby again. Start moving more simply to be healthier today than you were yesterday. Go back to church. Pray again. Open your Bible. Push through the pride and discover renewal in that “it’s been a while” feeling.

Set down busyness and distraction and achievement. Decide – at least for some precious moments – that connecting is more important. You won’t get back what you once had, but you’ll likely find exactly what you need right now. That “it’s been a while” feeling isn’t about nostalgia. It’s about connection as humans. Connection as believers. Connection to purpose. Connection to the creator. Connection that tells you that not only are you not alone, but your life isn’t the current. It’s not the undertow.

Just One Step

Not sure where to start? Ask God. Simply say, “Lord, it’s been a while. How can I reconnect?” The Bible says he’ll lead us through deep waters, and we won’t be overwhelmed (Isaiah 43:2). It says he will “guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong” (Isaiah 58:11).

Deep waters don’t have to consume you or carry you away. You don’t have to stay lost in unmet expectations. You can find renewal and connection, and it begins with just one step.