As I think about Struggling for Unity, I cannot not escape the role of individual responsibility for the creation, growth, and continual existence of unity. I did not necessarily like what I found either because it requires significant change on my part both in action and in mindset.
Paul addressed unity a lot within the early church, and the issue remains a constant struggle still today for most, probably all, churches. While there are numerous scriptures throughout the Old and New Testaments touting the importance and even the absolute necessity of unity, one portion in particular strikes me as a sort of mantra for unity.
Ephesians 3 provides the motivation for unity — because we’re called, saved, and equipped with God’s power — and Ephesians 4 gets into the details of what unity in the body looks like. I encourage you to read all of both chapters now, but at the very least meditate on these key phrases from Ephesians 4 while considering your individual role in creating and maintaining unity.
“Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each others faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace.”
“One body… one Spirit… on glorious future… one Lord… one faith… one baptism… one God and Father…”
“… hold to the truth in love…”
“Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”
“…throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life…”
“So put away all falsehood and ‘tell your neighbor the truth’ because we belong to each other.”
“…be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
With those verses in mind, consider the following statements as you contemplate your own role in the unity of the body. These statements simply reflect my personal agenda for positively impacting the unity of my family and my church.
For the sake of building unity in the groups of which you are a part, considering committing to:
- Preferring others by not insisting and arguing for my own way, wants, and desires.
- Allowing others to make mistakes without receiving criticism from me and to instead offer encouragement and sometimes instruction.
- Refusing to assume because I know that assumptions (always? often? usually?) lead to foolish behavior.
- Avoid operating on misinformation while at the same time realizing that some things are simply none of my business.
- Treating others with respect even when I don’t agree with them.
- Focusing on facts over feelings.
- Realizing there is often more than one right way to accomplish a goal.
- Accepting people where they are and encouraging them to always be growing.
- Making sure I’m always growing spiritually since no one is responsible for my growth but me.
- Refusing to give up on unity by continually praying for and working toward peace with others regardless of their efforts.
Consider taking time to write your own plan for building, promoting, and protecting unity. Ephesians 3 and 4 were used as guides for my own statements, but really the entire book of Ephesians provides tremendous help toward playing an active role in making sure unity thrives in your relationships. Other Scripture driving home the point include 1 Peter 3:8-9, Psalm 34 and Psalm 133. I encourage you to make unity a priority in your life and to “do all that you can to live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).
cycleguy
I'm really making a strong effort to be a really good encourager. I'm encouraging the person to be all God wants them to be but also encouraging positive statements toward others.
My recent post Agree!!!!
Kari Scare
Encouragement goes a long way toward promoting peace and unity within the church. We can definitely use more of it.
Barb
I love all these ideas for unity, Kari. Our churches would be in much better shape if we were all to practice them!
Kari Scare
Unfortunately, personal agendas have gotten in the way of unity way too often over the years. All we can do individually is play our role and do our part.
Mark Allman
I think I pursue unity when I choose not to reply harshly or in kind. I also try to show people respect even if I think they don't deserve it sometimes. I also try to avoiding making judgments about people. I fight against doing this especially those times I am tempted to do it without much information to go on. I also look for opportunities to encourage like cycleguy.
Kari Scare
Pursuing unity is hard work, isn't it Mark? Yet, clearly God desires that we do so providing it promotes and never compromises the truth and the Gospel.
Loren Pinilis
One barrier I see to unity, at least in my church, is just the natural cliques that arise because of different geography or life stages or workplaces or hobbies. People tend to associate with the same certain group, and the church ends up feeling like a collection of groups instead of one solid unit. So perhaps a way to promote unity there would be to intentionally look for ways to combine the groups?
My recent post How to Avoid the Fate of the Sluggard
Kari Scare
Interesting point, and definitely true in my church as well. You hit on the solution quite well though. We must deliberately work to promote unity by not operating solely in cliques. Doesn't mean we don't have our "go to" people for accountability, stress relief, etc., but we must be sure to go outside of those groups to help others know and experience unity as well. Having "all church" events helps with this too, so the deliberateness really needs to happen at every level.
Caleb
It's so easy to start sliding down the slope of disharmony! I find that I start doing this in my mind first when I start criticizing others for how they are doing things. Recently I came to a conclusion that before the start of our planning meetings I need to personally pray for everyone who will be taking part. Starting that way changes my attitude and helps me to be a force for unity instead of division.
My recent post When Cease-fire Doesn’t Mean Stop Shooting! Video Update
Kari Scare
It sure is, Caleb. And you hit on a huge reason for the growth of disharmony – being critical of others. We have to realize that there is more than one way to accomplish a goal and that we often don't know the whole picture with regard to why leaders are doing something. Whenever I am critical of someone (even critical of myself), I almost immediately feel a huge check to stop going in that direction. Our habits, like prayer and worship and study – can help keep is from getting critical too. Great point!
Deb Wolf
This is really good Kari. I can see your list benefiting families as well as churches. Especially once "in-laws" are added to the mix.
Kari Scare
Thanks Deb. Pursuing unity has far-reaching impact for sure! Must be why God stressed it so much.
tc Avey
Awesome post!
Focusing on facts and not emotions and trying to view them through the eyes of God (they are valued and loved) helps me handle situations better than I usually would. And when my emotions flare, I try to immediately say "I'm sorry" to restore the relationship and not let hurt feelings build.
Kari Scare
Thanks, TC. Getting God's perspective is always the right approach. And we definitely need to make sure to keep short accounts. Getting at problems as soon as they occur and when they are small is the best way to prevent disunity.
danonleadership
Whether it's a friend or loved one I try to learn about the other person and openly share about myself. I've found this to be a key element when it comes to creating and maintaining unity with another person. Great post!
Kari Scare
Great addition! Transparency can really help build unity of done in an honest and sincere way. Great for building trust.
danonleadership
🙂
Chris
To build unity, I focus on offering grace and not making assumptions. I used to get myself in trouble when I would allow my emotions to get in the way. I would look at a person's behavior in the context of myself, and I took some things personally I shouldn't have. It took me studying the different personality types to gain a much clearer picture of the major differences in people's behavior. It's usually not personal. We all just have different ways of relating to the world around us.
My recent post How the Stories We Tell Ourselves Shape Our Lives
Kari Scare
Emotions are a tricky deal. We need them as gauges to take our own temperature and make adjustments. However, we can't let them be in control of our lives. Developing broad shoulders is so important, as you note. And, like you, understanding personality styles has helped me tremendously in developing broad shoulders in that I realize that most of the time, what others do that I could take offense to is not personal. In fact, it's more about the other person than it is me. That realization helps so much in our pursuit of unity.
Struggling for Unity – Struggle to Victory
[…] requires a lot of consistent hard work (Psalm 34). Doing nothing to promote unity means allowing it to evaporate and become all but invisible as the gaping wounds in individual […]