The Worst Lie You Can Tell
January 30, 2019
Years ago, my college Intrapersonal Communications teacher started a class session with this statement:
“You cannot lie to yourself.”
He explained that this is because we eventually believe what we continually tell ourselves. In other words, even though what we’re saying may be a lie, our minds eventually accept and act on it as truth. Essentially, then, we can reprogram our thinking with lies.
What’s more, research actually supports this assertion.
“Humans are masters of self-deception. We fool ourselves into believing things that are false, and we refuse to believe things that are true.” (How Do I Know When I Am Lying to Myself?)
Self-deception also comes up often in literature.
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” (The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky)
“Self lies are the worst lies…” (Richard Bach)
Most significantly for Christians, the struggle with lying to ourselves is also confronted in the Bible.
“Keep my from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your law.” (Psalm 119:29)
Self-deception is the worst type of lie because it reprograms how we think, and the way we think determines the reality of our lives. For this reason, we need to regularly let our minds be renewed.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
Our culture seems to condone self-deception. The follow-your-feelings, seek-your-own-truth pattern of the world seeks to conform our thinking. It’s telling us that lying is acceptable if it fits with your personal truth.
Refuse to conform to this worldly pattern. Regularly assess your thinking by getting in God’s word and letting it transform you. Know God’s will, so you can regularly cast down any thinking that conflicts with it.
“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32-32)
Knowing God’s Will
April 25, 2017
B
eyond the Basics
Growing up, I thought of God as a distant ruler, kind of like a Gamemaker. I knew his word gave instructions for how to live life how he desired, but I failed to see beyond basic right and wrong.
Over the years, he’s shown me that he desires so much more than a life of basics.
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10b)
A life beyond the basics involves knowing God’s will in an increasingly intimate way. God wants us to know his will. What a powerful revelation! He wants us to know what he wants of us.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)
God gives us these instructions, so we can know his desires. As we chose to follow him over the world — our culture — and as we allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us, our thinking is renewed. This renewal brings discernment, which simply means we show good or outstanding judgment and understanding of what God desires.
Knowing God’s Will Takes Effort
Read Romans 12:2, above, again. Do you see the effort — the testing — required to know God’s will?
When we put forth this effort, we confirm our choice to make following him a priority. Actually, we make him THE priority of our lives. In essence, we acknowledge the importance of knowing God’s will.
“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35)
Knowing God’s will is important because it means we’re part of his family. Being part of the family of God is the starting point for knowing God’s will.
Begin With the Gospel
While our efforts do matter and significantly impact our knowing God’s will, they in no way earn anything for us. They simply reflect our choice to make Jesus Lord and Savior.
Knowing God starts with Jesus. Repenting of sin and trusting Christ as Lord and Savior is the only door leading to knowing God’s will.
“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.’” (John 14:6)
If you want to know God’s will, open the door. Pursue Jesus. Choose to follow him over the world. Be led by his Holy Spirit, and let your mind be renewed.
With Jesus as Lord of your life, with the price for your redemption paid by his blood, you can move fully and confidently into the activity of knowing God’s will.
Reset. Focus. Prioritize. Encourage.
March 7, 2017
Reset
When anyone’s cell phone seems to “glitch” as my oldest son calls it, my husband immediately says, “Did you turn it off and back on?” He knows that will reset the phone and usually result in a return to normal functioning.
In computer terms, a reset clears pending errors or events and brings a system to a normal or initial state condition, usually in a controlled manner. (Reset (Computing), Wikipedia)
Recently, I found myself reviewing the basics in every area of my life. A significant life trial has turned me back to the foundations of my operating system. I can’t exactly turn my whole life off and then back on again, but I can return to the basics in a way that sort of works like a system reset.
Focus
Every trial over the past 7 years has brought me back to a truth the Holy Spirit revealed to me when I entered what I call the beginning of the end of depression’s hold in my life.
“Do not remember the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
This verse serves to refocus me on what God is doing and is going to do. Yes, we need to remember what He’s done for us, but only in a way that reminds us of what He will do for us.
Prioritize
When life gets overwhelming (busyness, concern for loved ones, hard times financially, etc.) the basics provide stability. They exist as automatic priorities that can remain consistent even when all else seems unstable and falling apart.
For me, prioritizing involves letting three simple truths keep my mindset focused on what God desires.
- Focus determines reality. (Galatians 5:16-26; 2 Corinthians 4:18; Romans 8:5; Luke 12:34; Proverbs 16:3; & Psalm 34:4-7)
- Keep it simple. (2 Corinthians 11:3; Luke 9:1-6; Matthew 7:13-14; Matthew 5:37; Psalm 119:130; Psalm 116:6; & 2 Corinthians 1:12)
- Never give up. (Hebrews 10:35-36; Hebrews 10:23; 2 Thessalonians 2:15; Colossians 2:6-7; Luke 11:5-9; Matthew 10:22; Psalm 119:87)
As God reminds me of the power I am yet to see Him display, I return to these truths knowing they are guiding principles to give my life stability. All the details of my life flow through these basics.
Encourage
Let the basics guide and direct you. They provide a foundation on which you can build and move forward, and they can encourage you when you feel defeated. The basics provide a system reset that might not erase the trials you need to endure, but they will allow you to operate from a place of stability.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Even though I don’t fully understand why these basics serve to encourage me so much, especially during really tough trials, I choose to trust in the future God has planned.
Because he has faithfully brought me through so many trials already, I know he will do so again. Because he has done the impossible over and over again in my life, I wait for the impossible to spring forth again.
Make Becoming Christ-Like Your Goal
January 17, 2017
In Should Assertiveness Be Your Goal? we talked about how some people often feel like doormats but struggle with becoming more assertive. We came to the conclusion that becoming Christ-like, which sometimes involves being assertive, is really the better goal. Let’s look at how to move toward that goal.
Make Becoming Christ-Like Your Goal
Christ was certainly assertive, but he was also humble. This truth is evident throughout Scripture, especially in the Gospels. His life illustrates the perfect balance between confident aggression and humility.
Knowing Christ more and becoming more like him is the key to knowing how we should live and interact with others. It’s the key to knowing how to be assertive and humble at the same time. It’s the only way to know when to go the second mile and when to voice our plans, preferences and desires.
If the goal is to become Christ-like, not to simply be more assertive, we must first realize that one blog post, book or sermon (or even 10 or 20 or 100) cannot cover all of how that happens. Instead, we can begin our lifetime journey of progress toward perfection. We can start by looking at a few basics to create a foundation to becoming Christ-like even when our flesh or the world encourage us to focus on being self-confident.
Almost any part of the New Testament can guide us in becoming more Christ like. We find a terrific example of how this works in Ephesians 4.
Walking Worthy
Right away in Ephesians 4 we find a list of how “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called… humility… gentleness… patience… tolerance… love… unity…” (Ephesians 4:1-3).
Throughout the chapter, we receive instruction on how to live this out. With just one or two readings through Ephesians 4, quite a few pieces of instruction jump out for how we “learn Christ” and are “taught in Him.” In other words, how we become more like Christ.
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Be equipped.
This is why we have pastors and teachers. They help us understand and apply the instructions given in God’s Word.
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Speak the truth in love.
Essential to maturity and unity in Christ. Also a sign of stable growth. Learn to talk through difficult stuff and to do so in a loving way.
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Be angry without sinning.
While we can appreciate that anger isn’t forbidden, it’s important to realize that we cannot let it linger whether justified or not.
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Monitor what you say.
Avoid saying anything unhealthy and destructive. Instead, words should edify and build up.
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Be kind.
Forgive as Christ forgave you. Be tenderhearted, sympathetic and compassionate. Often, we must show kindness even when it’s undeserved.
You can find these habits progressing in the lives of Jesus’ disciples in the New Testament as they spend time with him during is earthly ministry. They’re even more evident as they spread the Gospel after receiving the Holy Spirit. Even many individuals (Joseph & David, for example) in the Old Testament provide examples of these principles being progressively lived out.
Most importantly, you can find all of these habits exemplified in the life of Jesus during his 3-year ministry as well as implied in his life before then (Luke 2:52). Pick any Gospel and read about Jesus’ life on earth, and you’re sure to spot these habits carried out in perfection.
Our Helper
Jesus was certainly meek and mild. He balanced love and truth with courage. He was also proactive and commanded respect while also being humble and loving. His example shows us how to be assertive without becoming self-focused and over-aggressive.
As we seek to become more Christ-like, a lifelong endeavor to be sure, we can place our confidence in his desire to help us. Not only can we get this help in the pages of Scripture, but we have supernatural help us as well.
“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.” (John 14:16)
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26)
“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.” (John 15:26)
Progress Toward Perfection
As we progress toward perfection, we can have confidence knowing we have a perfect example to follow. We have imperfect ones too that can also help us in our goal to becoming lie Christ.
Consider the following posts to help in your effort of progress toward perfection:
10 Character Building Lessons from Baseball
May 3, 2016
Baseball never fell on my radar let alone my schedule until my youngest son started playing little league. Since then, he’s played several years of travel baseball and now finds himself on the high school stage with JV baseball.
Regardless of the level of play, basic character building principles are inherent in the game of baseball. Advice shouted by coaches and parents on how to best play the game correlate well with how to live a life of excellence.
- Get dirty! While this may be a mother’s laundry nightmare, getting dirty in baseball generally means a player went “all out” to make a play. Sometimes in life, we need to “get dirty” in order to make a real difference.
- Make a play! Making a play can change the momentum of a game. When we find ourselves feeling stuck, sometimes the only way to break free is to do something out of the ordinary.
- Keep your eye on the ball! One of the most common mistakes in baseball comes when a player takes his eyes off the ball. When we lose focus, making progress and achieving goals becomes difficult at best and often impossible.
- Shake it off! While hopefully less common as the season progresses, mistakes do happen. Someone inevitably drops the ball or strikes out. The best approach when we make a mistake is to admit it, learn from it, and move on. Don’t let it snowball.
Down & ready! Some of the most embarrassing moments in a baseball game come when a player isn’t ready and sees a ball too late to stop it because he failed to pay attention. Life continually throws unexpected struggles at us, but many trials in life also come as surprises simply because we weren’t paying attention.- Everybody moves! When the ball is hit, every player needs to move accordingly. Sometimes, just going in the right direction is all we need to do to move toward excellence.
- Put it in play! Hitting a baseball is probably the hardest task in all of sports, and a professional player who gets a hit half the time is considered productive. Simply putting the ball in play presents a solid chance at scoring. In life, some seasons are survived simply by putting yourself in play and seeing what happens.
- Get there! As fast as most players throw at higher levels of baseball, all out effort is required just to make it to first base. What would happen in your life if you gave all out effort?
Be a wall! One of the positions my son enjoys most is catcher. The catcher must stop every ball from getting by him to prevent base stealing. Hopefully, the mitt stops the ball, but often the catcher’s body must do it. Some seasons in life certainly require that we stand firm even as the hits of disappointment, fear and failure strike us one right after another.- Smother it! Another phrase relating to catchers, this means covering the ball as it hits the ground in front of you. In life, some days come filled with needing to simply protect your time, your family and your faith. Some days, we just need to smother what’s important to keep it from getting away from us.
A teachable baseball player takes these foundational principles and builds on them in order to become a better player. Tommy Lasorda made the distinction this way…
“There are three types of baseball players. Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.”
A person who realizes that baseball – actually, any sport – provides character building opportunity for a life of excellence, understands how watching or playing the sport really transcends the sport itself. The late, great Ernie Harwell brought the point home well when he said…
“Baseball is a lot like life. It’s a day-to-day existence, full of ups and downs. You make the most of your opportunities in baseball as you do in life.”
Harwell’s quote brings Ephesians 5:16 to mind.
“Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.”
Opportunities such as the character building lessons discussed above exist in every sport and in many other activities. Are you making the most of them?
Becoming Spiritually Healthy
December 16, 2014
Jesus Changes Everything…
The biggest impact on my focus for lasting transformation and increasing joy during the holidays and beyond came when I truly met Jesus in the pages of Scripture and allowed His Holy Spirit to direct my focus. I’ve technically been a Christian my whole life. Yet, it took almost 30 years for my faith to become a significant driving force, for me to truly become spiritually healthy.
This doesn’t mean my faith didn’t impact my life before that point. However, when I finally realized and admitted my utter dependence upon Christ to work in me through His Holy Spirit for a joyful reality, my faith became so much more than mere fire insurance.
…If You’ll Let Him!
Jesus desires for us to be spiritually healthy. He wants to increase the focus of our lives continually more toward God. But, He doesn’t force Himself on us. His Holy Spirit doesn’t force its way in as the director of our focus either. We must let Him change how we think… which changes our focus, which then changes our reality… if we are to become spiritually healthy.
Spiritually Healthy Habits
Usually, being led by Christ through His Holy Spirit involves many activities we already know to be spiritually beneficial. In other words, letting Christ lead us simply means doing that which Scripture extols as necessary habits for continually increasing spiritual health.
- Don’t neglect the basics. Keeping a consistent routine of Bible study, prayer & worship proves immensely beneficial. The basics keep us strong for the unexpected life inevitably handed us.
- Try simple & minimal. Take this approach with every aspect of life from schedules to clothing. Allow yourself the mental space to enjoy the people in your life by keeping the material aspects as simple as possible.
- Pay attention to physical health. While indulging feels good in the moment, the consequences usually outweigh any momentary, immediate pleasure. Consider the long-term impact of choices prior to making them.
- Make relationships a priority. Choose relationships over doing and going and accomplishing and impressing whenever possible.
Deliberately considering what I allow to direct my focus, the thoughts I allow to dwell in my spirit, helps me continue making choices that lead to a positive and joy-filled life. As I do so, and as I keep to these habits, living spiritually healthy becomes a more natural part of who I am.
Establish your focus on the only person able to align all you are with truth, light and hope. Let Jesus continually and increasingly direct your focus and shape your reality. This is the only way to become and stay spiritually healthy.
Be Coachable
August 8, 2012
Tonight when you watch the Olympics, take a few minutes to observe the coaches. They watch with intensity. They cheer. They instruct. They console. They correct. Their emotional intensity rivals that of the athletes themselves.
Coaches see the big picture. They see what the athletes themselves don’t always see. They break down what needs done and how it needs done into small, manageable steps that will add up for big change over time if done consistently.
Yet, nothing a coach does matters if the athlete fails to open himself to being taught. Being coachable can make a talented athlete great. Being teachable can make an average athlete approach greatness too. Even an initially poor athlete can become good and maybe even great if he is coachable.
What does a coachable athlete look like? What attributes does he possess?
Certainly, a coachable athlete must trust his coach, he must be willing to change and try new things, and he must be have the ability to listen. In addition to these essential elements, a coachable athlete must also possess the following three qualities:
- Passion for practicing the basics. Even professional athletes still practice the basics regularly. The basics provide the foundation for greatness in any sport, a foundation on which a coach then builds a great athlete.
- Willingness to submit without always understanding why. A coach studies and plans, sees the big picture and usually has more experience than the athlete. For these reasons, an athlete must often submit to a coach’s leadership without at least initially understanding the reasoning.
- Humbleness for following directions/instructions without question. Especially during competition, an athlete needs to carry out the coach’s game plan and not question his every decision. Humbleness is necessary to let go of one’s own will and submit to another’s will.
These same attributes or qualities seen in a coachable athlete are also visible in a teachable Christian who, like David, pursues the heart of God.
- Passion for practicing the basics means being merciful, kind, humble and gentle. The basics also include forgiveness, love and thankfulness. A passion for the basics also includes living out the words of scripture as well as participating in regular fellowship and worship. (Colossians 3:12-17)
- Willingness to submit to Christ means loving Him above all else and following Him wholeheartedly, regardless of the cost. (Luke 14:25-35)
- Humbleness that allows us to let go of our own will and desires and following Christ’s. Doing so means admitting our dependence upon Him. (James 5:7-10)
Being a successful athlete as well as being a Christian who pursues the heart of God takes hard work and perseverance. It takes honing specific qualities and habits even when they seem boring or hard to understand. It means following the instruction of those with more experience and who better understand the bigger picture. Being a successful athlete pursuing Olympic gold or a Christian pursuing the heart of God requires being coachable. Are you coachable?
Related “Olympic” Posts:
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Essential Elements of Vision Therapy
June 8, 2012
Many optometrists do not recognize when someone needs vision therapy. In fact, a person with vision problems often passes an eye exam. This happened with my son, and we did not realize it until one of his teachers suggested we check into vision therapy.
Elements of Vision Therapy
Before a patient begins vision therapy, an eye therapist does an assessment. Then, a doctor specializing in vision-related problems reviews and interprets the results. He creates a treatment plan with goals and expectations. Next, patients attend in-office therapy. Patients also have tasks to complete at home.
This process works well for our spiritual lives too. It can correct and prevent vision-related spiritual problems like double-mindedness, lack of or wrong focus, and absence of alertness that plague our spiritual lives.
After asking the question, Do you Need Vision Therapy, proceed to implementing the necessary elements.
Elements of Spiritual Vision Therapy
- The basics serve as a vision evaluation for our spiritual lives. They include regular fellowship, daily Bible study and prayer. These create the core of our spiritual health. Stopping regular practice of any of these habits leads to blurred spiritual vision and even blindness. (Colossians 4:2, 3; Acts 2:42)
- Consultation with a seasoned saint provides the insightful observations to help adjust spiritual progress. In addition, regular accountability keeps our blind spots from creating havoc. Talking out problems is often all that’s needed to find a solution. (Galatians 6:1, 2)
- Expert advice comes through a variety of sources. Some struggles need the experienced vision of a pastor or Christian counselor. Regularly reading Christian books also provides preventative as well as problem-specific advice.
- Practice involves not just taking in the Word and hearing from God, but also “going into all the world” and practicing what God plants inside of you. (Mark 16:15)
- Continual reassessment helps see The Danger of Routine and Habit in Our Prayer Lives. Every area of life benefits from regular assessment. Check with the Holy Spirit daily in prayer and make a point perform regular personal assessments.
One final connection between vision therapy for the eyes and spiritual vision therapy lies with the power of choice. Individuals must decide whether or not to participate in the recommended therapy. The eye doctor makes the vision therapy plan clear. God also makes the plan of action clear for preventing spiritual vision problems. Both require commitment and follow through vision to improve.
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