New Year’s Resolutions
January 7, 2020
Approaches to Making Resolutions
Every year I debate whether or not I should make New Year’s resolutions. This debate involves considering various approaches such as:
It also includes asking those closest to me if they’re making any resolutions. If they are, I ask them to share their goals with me and to tell me what they think of mine.
My debate also involves considering the reasons why many people choose to NOT MAKE resolutions. I don’t mean those who are just too lazy to set goals; I’m referring to people who deliberately choose not to set them and to either abstain altogether or take a non-traditional approach.
One approach is advocated by Pocket Mindfulness who explains Why You Should Not Set New Year’s Resolutions and What to Do Instead. It advocates:
“Rather than rushing forward in a panic to set resolutions or a list of goals you can start on New Year’s Day, forget all that and enter the New Year in a mode of being absolutely present, and absolutely positive, about how great [the coming year] is going to be.”
Another example comes from Tim Ferriss who recommends that we Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead. There’s also the approach of Georgia Bloomberg, professional equestrian and philanthropist, who says:
“I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I think if you want to change something, change it today and don’t wait until the New Year.”
I don’t disagree with Bloomberg, though I do think there’s value in including New Year’s resolutions in the process of change if only as a review as Ferriss recommends. Finally, simply determining to be “absolutely present, and absolutely positive” just doesn’t have enough substance for me.
Why I Make Resolutions
For the last 10 years or so, I’ve decided to make resolutions of some sort for the coming year. Ultimately, I make this decision because I can’t get past the success doing so has brought me. Not a perfect record. Not even close. Yet, far more progress with resolutions than without them.
I also make them because they have brought me closer to God and increasingly into His will. Plus, the Bible encourages the sort of self-reflection and examination that come with the process of making resolutions.
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:40)
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Simply put, making resolutions at the end/beginning of each year just reminds me to:
- Regularly go through this process of examination and renewal.
- Keep making progress toward perfection.
- Remember that I cannot make that progress on my own.
2020 Resolutions
In my yearly conversation over whether or not to make resolutions, I decided to make them for 2020. Doing so this year involves combining the approaches I’ve mentioned above with what has worked well for me in past years. That includes doing the following:
- I am reflecting and looking for areas of weaknesses as well as strengths to improve upon.
- My reflections are extending beyond 2019 and into the entire past decade.
- Each resolution involves focusing on being absolutely present and more positive.
- The “One-Word 365” approach can be expanded with multiple words that collaborate toward a resolution philosophy for the year.
Perhaps you’ve also noted that this reflection about New Year’s resolutions comes after the new year has already begun. My resolutions are not fully developed yet. This brings in a significant lesson I’ve learned over my many years of making resolutions: Don’t force them. Instead, pray about them. Reflect on them. Let the Holy Spirit lead you down the path of God’s will.
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
October 8, 2019
“All That is Gold Does Not Glitter”
All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
This is repeated two times in the Lord of the Rings book series by J.R.R. Tolkein and once in the movie produced by Peter Jackson. It speaks to significant plot lines in both. At the same time, it also speaks to some larger life truths. For example:
- Appearances don’t tell the whole story.
- Wanderers often have a purpose.
- Endurance and vitality exist even in the aged.
- Renewal and hope are always possible.
These deeper themes illustrate one of the reasons Lord of the Rings is my favorite movie and book. They get me thinking about purpose even within my Wanderlust. Just some thoughts as my life exists in major transition right now.
Wanderlust
October 1, 2019
Popular on signs and t-shirts these days, the idea of having “wanderlust” is intriguing to me. But I can’t help but wonder…
Why do I have it?
I thought I could come up with a direct answer, but it turns out I can’t. In other words, I’m not sure why, but I know it’s stirred in me with increasing intensity over the years.
Anyone else have this feeling?
Critics say it’s a way to escape the world, to avoid commitments, and to simply have fun. With wanderlust, they say, nothing significant is accomplished. Further, some even claim wanderlust is caused by a specific gene (DRD4-7R).
Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I have not seen these drawbacks when I give in to wanderlust. On the other hand, I do experience the benefits associated with it. Those benefits include…
- An increased social network
- An increase in openness, agreeableness, and emotional ability
- Increased creativity.
With this new season in my life (i.e., empty nest), the wanderlust that has always existed for me seems amplified. I feel ready to expand my boundaries.
Can anyone relate?
Paying Attention
February 19, 2019
Ever been told to “pay attention”? Ever tell someone else to “pay attention”? We can all probably answer “yes” to both of these questions.
Every wonder why we so often struggle to pay attention? If pressed to give a short answer, I would say, “comfort and distraction.”
Distraction probably makes sense to most. We struggle paying attention often because we have so much other stuff vying for our focus.
Comfort, though? For me, yes. Often, actually.
Too Comfortable?
A significant, often overlooked, danger to/enemy of our attention is comfort. Comfort with the world and with our own level of growth.
When we get too comfortable, we let our guards down. As a result, things (habits, activities, people, etc.) get into our lives – and become distractions – that shouldn’t. We then begin to pay attention to those distractions and make them our focus.
If you’re struggling to visualize this happening, read through the book of Judges. It’s filled with examples of how God’s people got comfortable and failed to pay attention over and over and over again.
Do An Assessment
To avoid the damage that can happen when you fail to pay attention, take time to assess your own attentiveness to the things of God regularly. The following questions can help:
- Do I regularly read and meditate on Scripture? Am I dwelling on it or rushing through?
- Are my prayer times forced and obligatory?
- How are my reactions? Am I quick to rush to conclusions? Do I make decisions based on far too many assumptions rather than taking time to get the facts?
- Is my attitude like a roller coaster?
- Am I always in a hurry? Do I constantly push others to step up the pace too?
Let the Holy Spirit show you where you need to make adjustments. Let God guide you to a place of focused attention that propels your productivity for Him.
The Worst Lie You Can Tell
January 30, 2019
Years ago, my college Intrapersonal Communications teacher started a class session with this statement:
“You cannot lie to yourself.”
He explained that this is because we eventually believe what we continually tell ourselves. In other words, even though what we’re saying may be a lie, our minds eventually accept and act on it as truth. Essentially, then, we can reprogram our thinking with lies.
What’s more, research actually supports this assertion.
“Humans are masters of self-deception. We fool ourselves into believing things that are false, and we refuse to believe things that are true.” (How Do I Know When I Am Lying to Myself?)
Self-deception also comes up often in literature.
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” (The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky)
“Self lies are the worst lies…” (Richard Bach)
Most significantly for Christians, the struggle with lying to ourselves is also confronted in the Bible.
“Keep my from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your law.” (Psalm 119:29)
Self-deception is the worst type of lie because it reprograms how we think, and the way we think determines the reality of our lives. For this reason, we need to regularly let our minds be renewed.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
Our culture seems to condone self-deception. The follow-your-feelings, seek-your-own-truth pattern of the world seeks to conform our thinking. It’s telling us that lying is acceptable if it fits with your personal truth.
Refuse to conform to this worldly pattern. Regularly assess your thinking by getting in God’s word and letting it transform you. Know God’s will, so you can regularly cast down any thinking that conflicts with it.
“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32-32)
More Course Corrections
January 22, 2019
As discussed in Course Corrections, a pilot makes course corrections throughout a flight. If he doesn’t, the aircraft will gradually get off course and eventually become drastically so to the point of significant consequences.
Similarly, the Holy Spirit helps us make course corrections to keep us from getting drastically off course in our lives. As we tune in to those promptings, we’re able to make course corrections sooner rather than later. So, we make them when we’re only slightly off track rather than well on our way to being lost.
The Holy Spirit’s Role
Jesus, when explaining why he had to leave his disciples, told them about the Holy Spirit:
“When he comes, he will prove the world to be wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment.” (John 16:18)
In other words, he’ll reveal sin (indicate what needs to go) and guide into right living (indicate what needs to be added). One of the Holy Spirit’s main purposes in our lives, then, is to reveal the course corrections we need to make.
Our Role
Our role is to pay attention, make adjustments and let the Holy Spirit work in us. The sooner we do this, the smaller the needed adjustment and the more likely we are to avert tragedy. Life is already full of struggle. Why make it worse by failing to make the course corrections we know are needed?
Knowing this, we can:
- Be thankful for the Holy Spirit’s course corrections.
- Pray for increased sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s promptings.
- Seek connections with others who desire to continuously course correct.
- Obediently and immediately make course corrections.
“If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” (Galatians 5:25)
Don’t Forget to Remember!
May 29, 2018
Remembering our history as a culture, as individuals and related to our faith is important. To Remember?!, especially as Christians, exists not simply as an act of recollection but also as a habit that propels us into action.
In the Old Testament, the directive to “remember” sometimes comes phrased as “do not forget.” The concept runs throughout the New Testament as well, and both direct our attention and priority within our remembering.
Pulling out just a few examples helps grasp the importance God places on not just remembering but on allowing that recollection to guide our activity. It also helps take our understanding of “remembering” to a deeper level.
Old Testament
Deuteronomy is often called a “book of remembrance” by Bible scholars. The phrases “remember” and “do not forget” come frequently enough to spot during even a casual reading.
Psalms present the words “remember” or “do not forget” about 70 times, depending on the version. Psalm 78 is a good example.
New Testament
The Gospels hold many instances where the disciples remember what Jesus said & did. This remembrance then drove their activity (John 2:22 and John 12:16). In addition, Jesus himself even directed them toward remembrance (John 16:4).
Studying this thread of “remembering” in Scripture gives tremendous instruction as to why, what and how that activity should take place in our own lives. It also helps discover significant purpose in our remembering, transforming it into Purposeful Remembering.
Remember?!
May 22, 2018
Is Remembering Enough?
From holidays to monuments, memorials commemorate and preserve a significant person, place or event. Think of memorials as direction markers in history showing the people and events that shaped cultures. Consider the following examples:
Memorial Day honors all US military personnel who have perished during all wars and military actions in which the United States has been involved.
Labor Day celebrates the American labor movement and commemorates the social and economic achievements of workers.
Veterans’ Day honors people who served in the US Armed Forces. It coincides with Armistice Day and Remembrance Day celebrated in other countries. All of these mark the anniversary of the end of WWI.
Independence Day commemorates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776 when the United States declared independence from Great Britain.
The Statue of Liberty, a gift from France in 1886, is a worldwide symbol of freedom & democracy.
Castle Clinton, the most visited national monument in the United States, sits on the bottom of Manhattan Island and was originally built to protect New York from British invasion during the War of 1812.
Memorials aid our memory and help us preserve what we cherish most as a culture. We have many types of memorials throughout history such as stones, prehistoric drawings on cave walls, grave markers, tombs, pyramids, obelisks and statues.
Memorials also exist on a more personal level. We have special days like birthdays and anniversaries to commemorate the most important people in our lives. We have objects like wedding rings and photographs to help that remembrance to go beyond just a single day a year.
While remembering certainly exists on a variety of levels in our lives, is simply remembering enough? Is just bringing to mind people and places and events enough to serve the purpose for which these memorials exist?
Active Remembering
To help answer these questions, consider the theme of “remembering” that runs heavily throughout the Bible. Looking in depth at the word used for remembering can help us understand how we are called beyond simply recalling or remembering.
Azakarah (n) “memorial” = a sacrificial term describing the act “which brings the offerer into remembrance before God, or which brings God into honorable remembrance with the offerer.”
Zakhar (v) “to prick,” “pierce,” “penetrate”
These definitions help us see that the idea of “remembering” in Scripture goes well beyond just recollection. Action and sacrifice are also significant aspects of remembering.
Remembering or recalling by itself isn’t enough. Without action, we just have a day off work or a reason to eat or spend too much. When a call to action accompanies our remembering — which it does throughout Scripture — we find ourselves changed, hopefully for the better, as a result of that active remembering.
Along with this post, several more help explore this idea of active remembering:
The goal of studying “remembering” in this way is to discover the true purpose remembering should have in our lives. With that purpose, we can see the results that active remembering can bring to the life of a Christian.
Invisible?
May 15, 2018
Do you ever feel invisible?
I’m not talking literally, like superhero-ring-of-power-invisibility-cloak type of invisible. I’m talking the type of invisible you feel when others fail to notice you in some way.
This happens when you’re driving, and someone pulls in front of you as if you aren’t even on the road in your vehicle. It happens when you’re at the grocery store and people walk in front of you as you’re walking down the aisle, and you have to stop abruptly to prevent yourself from running into them.
Worst of all, though, is when someone you are talking with suddenly starts having a conversation with someone else. Sometimes, it’s when two or more people you were talking to suddenly only talk to each other and make it quite obvious that you are not a part of that conversation.
Another type of invisibility involves your contributions. This happens when you consistently and faithfully go about your commitments, and no one really says anything. Until you make a mistake. Then they say something.
Ever had any of these happen?
Feeling invisible in these ways frustrates me and is one of the quickest routes to a bad mood that I find difficult to shake. I mean, I’m sure all of these people overlooked me on purpose.
Do you ever wish you were invisible?
Now I AM talking about the superhero-ring-of-power-invisibility-cloak type of invisible. (As an aside, scientists have discovered how to actually make something invisible See the video here.)
Where would you go? What would you do?
Maybe you would listen in on conversations to find out what people really think of you. Think about it. You could get someone all riled up, leave the room to put on whatever it is that makes you invisible, and then follow that person to find out if you become the topic of a conversation.
Or maybe you would start messing with people. You could blow in someone’s ear, throw sunflower seeds at someone or even follow them around until they get the feeling that they are being watched.
The Invisible God
Really, much of what significantly impacts our lives is invisible. Sound waves. Heat waves. Wind. Oxygen. You see the impact, sure, but not the element itself. Actually, we could not continue to function or even exist without the invisible.
Interesting that the idea of invisibility, whether in fiction or real life and depending on its various forms and conditions, can both benefit as well as negatively impact our lives.
Take this beyond the scientific and into the spiritual, and consider that God – the creator of the universe… of sound, heat, wind & oxygen – is also invisible (1 Timothy 1:17 & Colossians 1:15). We also know our faith is based on what is yet unseen.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)”
Our faith and our hope are all based on the invisible. Even our true struggles take place in the unseen.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)
In then follows that our focus should be more on the invisible.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
We can choose to overlook the invisible God and the unseen forces that battle around us, and we can choose to not focus on that intangible unseen force of love. Or, we can choose to take in the reality of what the invisible means for our lives and let it become a part of our reality.
How do we do this?
- Realize that troubles are opportunities that help us look beyond this life and to place our hope in the eternal God.
- Understand that our ultimate hope is that this life is not all there is and that there is life beyond what we can see.
- Believe that we will live with God in eternity to help us live above the pain of the present.
- Be directed by God’s Holy Spirit within us and protected by His armor around us. (Ephesians 6:11-17)
Would you be invisible if you could?
My boys and I periodically talk about what kind of mythical beings we would be and what powers or abilities we would have if we could. Invisibility is not one of my choices. (In case you’re curious, I would be a Jedi Elf. Think Obi Wan morphed with Legolas.) I have felt invisible before and hated it. Even more than my personal feelings, I just feel that the invisible really exists for that which is much higher than myself.
Ultimately for now, the unseen exists as a matter of faith. Without doubt — being completely sure — faith would have no place in my life. For that reason, I choose to believe in an invisible God. I choose to focus on the unseen force of love and to bank my soul on the reality of an eternity in Heaven. In that way, really, the invisible directs me and exists as more of a reality than anything tangible I can verify with my five senses.
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Reset Your Focus
May 8, 2018
What’s Your Focus?
Lost and a wrong focus happens to everyone from time to time. Busyness. Illness. Distraction. Details differ, but everyone struggles with keeping focus on what God desires for their life.
“If you do not change your direction, you may end up where you are heading.” (Lao Tzu)
Think of this quote in terms of focus.
- What are you focused on?
- What’s the ultimate goal of your life?
- Where are you headed?
- Is this really the focus you want?
- Is it really the focus God wants for you?
Thinking about focus in terms of a whole life direction and then within each area (personal, professional, physical, spiritual, mental) of life is crucial for determining attitudes actions and words on a daily basis.
Reset Your Focus
Changing the direction in which you’re going (i.e. changing your focus) requires deliberate effort. If you don’t care where you’re going or what you’re focusing on, then do nothing. Something will grab your attention without any effort. But if you care, keep reading.
Focus determines reality. Change focus, change reality.
Resetting your focus in any area of life involves evaluating and then carefully choosing how you focus in three ways.
1. Make sure your actions and focus align.
The direction you’re going is determined by the decisions you make. Identify any misalignment (lost focus) by looking at your daily decisions. Do your actions reflect the focus you want? If not, make decisions that change and redirect those actions.
2. Make sure your words reflect your focus.
Words direct what people think about you. Even more significant, words direct how you think about yourself. If you’re self-deprecating, you won’t think highly of yourself and other people won’t either. How you talk about yourself will be reflected in your actions and decisions. Change the words you use by changing what you allow to influence your thinking (people, what you read, how much time you spend on your phone, etc.).
3. Make sure you’re solution focused not problem focused.
Do you constantly talk and act as if you’re a victim of circumstances? Think of it this way… who isn’t a victim of circumstance? A problem-focused person will focus on what happened to them and probably how unfair it was. A solution-focused person will focus on what they can do and say about their circumstances. They’ll look at what they need to do to make progress. They realize that circumstances may affect them in unavoidable ways, but they don’t have to define them.
Resetting your focus requires focusing on solutions and how they can bring you closer to your goals and keep you focused on what God has set before you to be and accomplish. It means taking action after prayerfully searching for answers.
Every day is full of opportunity. Choose your focus each and every day by using that opportunity to become and do what God has set in your heart.
“A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.” (Proverbs 16:9, AMP)