Relationships and Hope
In my struggle to victory over depression, relationships that mattered to me or that I at least wanted to matter to me helped me have hope. The first was the hope of a relationship with God, and then there were the other relationships in my life.
My husband joined this journey with me from almost the beginning. I can’t do justice to the junk, the kindest word I can think of to describe it, I put him through over the years or to the patience he continually doled out. Simply put, he never gave up on me and refused to leave me. He looked me straight in the eye on more than one occasion and said, “I will never leave you.” I get choked up thinking about it. I realize today that him never giving up on me made me unable to give up either.
I grew up in a very rules-oriented church culture, one where God was this distant being who seemed more like a master chess player than like anyone who wanted me to know Him personally. So, the first 28 years of my faith life included what I “should” do, including believing in God.
Around age 28, that changed. I began to discover who I was in Christ, and I learned that Jesus not only wanted a relationship with me but that He gave me His Holy Spirit to comfort and help me. I learned that the Bible was a guide for life and not simply a book of rules. This process of correcting my wrong views about God and seeing life from a full-Gospel perspective truly gave me a new foundation to build upon as I began to live more and more outside of the pit.
Out of the Pit
My journey out of the pit really began after I had my oldest son. When he was a toddler, I realized that I did not want his memories of me to be ones of a depressed an unhappy person. So, I began the journey for him.
My youngest son entered this journey only about nine years later. This, too, was a pivotal experience in that he needed me to live fully and completely outside of the pit in order for him to not live in one himself. For him, I took steps to fill in the pit of depression that had been my dwelling place for so many years, making it no longer an option.
The Impact of My Faith
I don’t remember not believing in God. However, I do remember not really knowing who Jesus was and what role the Holy Spirit played. Learning about relationship with Christ changed everything.
My growth in faith coincides directly with my progression through depression and out of the pit forever. Depression was the trial of my life that drew me always closer to Him; it was either that or end my life. Realizing my inability to overcome on my own led me to realize my desperate need for Him.
cycleguy
I know one more thing which should be in your book. 🙂 Further discussion of the role of Christian counseling. It is refreshing to me to read this again Kari.
My recent post Servant
Kari Scare
Definitely adding that to the list. I really need to map this out and get a plan of action together. Doing a lot of mental planning… Does that count?
blessingcounterdeb
Kari, Thank you for sharing this again. I believe having someone else say, "I get it. I understand" is huge! It blessed me and I know it will bless others. Keep working on that book!
My recent post 5 Reasons to Forgive the Unforgivable
Kari Scare
Thanks for the encouragement Deb!
Mark Allman
People we associate with have a profound effect on our lives. More than we care to admit. We must be diligent in not letting someone drag us into the pit of despair strictly on their opinions. We need to be one that builds others up and offers them a belief that they are worthy.
Kari Scare
So true, Mark. And that encouragement can go a long way in helping them get out of the pit even though it may not seem to be helping at the time.
Dave Arnold
Thanks for sharing your journey Kari. It took me a awhile to understand my identity in Christ… but, boy, does it change things. This post made me think of the great preacher, Charles Spurgeon, who often battled with depression… and God used him powerfully.
My recent post How We Change (Part 2)
Kari Scare
That identity is a key for overcoming for sure, Dave. I will have to study the life of Spurgeon a bit more in relation to depression. Might give me insight as I set out to write a book on the topic.
tc Avey
God brings people into our lives for a reason. Nothing is by "chance".
Sometimes people are in our lives for the long haul, other times they are just passing through.
As I read your post I thought of my time as an ER RN. Often I cared for patients who were suicidal. Those people were in my life for a brief moment, but I always tried to show them love. That I truly cared that they lived.
I don't know where those people are now, but God does. He loves them and I pray they find Him and the deliverance He can bring.
Kari Scare
Great example, TC! Planting seeds of love is never wrong, and I believe God honors our obedience in doing so. You will likely never know the difference you made until you get to Heaven, but I'm certain you made a difference. It really is the small acts of kindness/love that add up and make a huge difference, even if not noticed as making one at the time.
Depressiona
Hi there,A focal piece of numerous faiths is the belief that we are every deserving of love,admiration and absolution.There is a realizing that we are not the only one and that ultimately,life works out and develops generally as it is supposed to.The capacity to make significance out of pain is one of the keys for happiness.Good day.
@Julie Burton.
Kari Scare
Make significance out of pain… so much wisdom in that statement. Thanks, Julie.